Lonely…

So, I’m sitting here trying to write a paper…  A paper on the moral philosophy behind Reverse Discrimination…  It’s not going so well (if you haven’t already noticed).

I’m thinking about someone that I shouldn’t be thinking about.  It’s not my RA…  I’d much rather think about her.  It’s about someone else.  Someone very special to me.

Its my ex-girlfriend.  I had to go past her work a week ago and I noticed that her work was no longer there.  It was like it had gone out of business.  Well, I called a mutual friend of ours (I think this friend, though supposed best friends with my ex, is better friends with me) to see if she had spoken with my ex to see what had happened.  Well, she hadn’t.  So I ended up thinking about it all week long, worried that maybe she had lost her job and didn’t have one at the moment (which could potentially be bad).

Well, I got a call from that friend last afternoon.  Turns out that the business had moved and my ex had gotten a job somewhere else (which is very close to my parents’ house I found out… A little disconcerning.).  Anyway, during that same phone call my friend mentioned that she hadn’t actually spoken with my ex, but with her new boyfriend (who was coincidently our roommate when we were together… yeah… that hurts).  So I have this pang in my stomach that won’t go away.

It’s more than just missing the love of my life.  I miss my best friend.  The person I used to talk to about everything.  *sigh*  I don’t know what to do with myself.

Oh well…  I guess its because its a little over a year since we broke up that this is hitting me.  Guess it makes me sad.

P.S. Is it bad to not let go…?