i am a fuck up
yesterday calla told me she didn’t love me. she cared for me, but she didn’t love me and couldn’t be with me because of that.
so what did i do? what i do everytime i hurt… i hurt others.
i texted her best friend (who i texted 2 months ago to see if it would be a good idea to contact calla) and proceeded to say some of the most hurtful, and awful things i’ve ever said in my life. and for the life of me i have no idea why. i like her best friend. i really do. and i think amy is a good and wonderful friend for calla (besides when they piss each other off… but i think all friends do that at some point).
the weird thing is, i don’t think amy ever liked me. when i texted her a few months ago, she said some very hurtful things to me. i might have deserved them.
i remember my line of thinking yesterday. i was thinking that if your friend still is in love with their ex, and that ex contacts you asking how she is and what he can do to contact her, wouldn’t you want to try for that? maybe not… instead i just got words of hurt and discouragement.
maybe she was trying to protect calla.
i hate how i lose control like that. calla wanted to be friends, why couldn’t i leave it at that…
Sometimes you can’t be friends with someone you love so dearly. It’s just not possible. I thought it was-but I was wrong also. I think we hurt others because we are so hurt ourselves that we don’t know how to deal with it. I admit, I am one of those people. Does that make me a fuck up too? If so, then I will gladly join the club. XOXO
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I think it’s really too easy to lose control when strong emotions are involved. I’m sorry you’re hurt. I definitely know how it feels. Just remember that time really does heal! I know it might be hard to imagine, but everything will be okay. Really.
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If I didn’t love Justin so much, I’m not entirely convinced that I would be friends with him. I always joke that he should be glad I fell in love with him first, then became his friend, because if it was the other way around, I would’ve killed him by now, lol. So, I think I’m trying to say that I agree completely with the first commenter.
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Some friends are protective like that. So don’t take it very personally. And.. it is hard to be friends loving someone. Maybe I will say something that will hurt you, but I think it’s good that you’re not friends, it would hurt you SO MUCH MORE than now, I mean it. When you can’t be together but still talk a lot, it doesn’t make it easy. You’re such an amazing guy. You’ll find YOUR girl 🙂
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I think it’s even harder just being friends with someone you care so deeply for. That is the situation I am in right now and I think that I would be much better off not talking to him at all, than just having to be ok with being friends. I don’t think you are a fuck up at all. Don’t tell yourself that, you are a wonderful person, far from a fuck up.
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I don’t think I could be friends with an ex. There’s just too much history, memories and pain there. {{{hugs}}}
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Maybe she is just not in to you….
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please do not call yourself a fuck-up. everyone makes mistake.. its okay you are a wonderful human being, not a fuck up L
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RYN: Believe it or not, if you look, you can see the Mississippi in that pic. Yes, it is there! ^.^
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I’ve tried to be friends with my ex for the last twelve years… it doesn’t work.
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