November 18, 2009

here we go again…

kinda having a down night tonight. for several reasons, but one of the big ones is this.

five of my friends (two here on OD) are pregnant. and i’m so jealous. i’m so jealous that is makes me angry, and i feel sick that i’m angry about it. i’m overjoyed that all of them are so excited. and yet, here i am complaining because i am no nearer my goal of having children as i was 4 months ago.

or even 2, 4, 7 years ago.

and i’ve been with people that i could see myself having kids with, and spending the rest of my life with them, but… i always seem to mess things up. and new things seems to never happen either. who would ever want to be with me anyway? for the rest of my life i’m going to travel, and be away constantly. i won’t know my schedule (most likely) until 5pm the day before… i mean, seriously. there is no one in their right mind that would choose to put themselves in that position.

to add insult to injury i had a costume fitting yesterday, and the size 48 waist pants they bought for me are too small. *sigh* i didn’t realize i’d gained that much weight on the trip out here. the worst part about that is i’m currently losing weight, which means i was bigger for a time. 🙁

i just want to give up. find a job that is more condusive to a family, something that doesn’t scare people away… something else i’m good at.

– noah

~Andrea Marie~

November 19, 2009

Aww sorry you’re having a down day…I know how it feels to watch other attain what you want…It isn’t easy but in a way it makes us stronger…Just think how happy you’ll be and how special it will be when you finally do have a baby with a woman you love?! =) Don’t give up on your talent, you shouldn’t change in order to fit someone else’s mold…You need someone to love you for who you are just the way you are or else it isn’t real love. Hang in there! *Hugs*

eleventh elegy

*hugs*

Beatrix K.

When I find out friends are jhaving babies I sigh a huge sigh of relief and am so happy it’s not me!

red over red

My boyfriend is a pilot. He wants to be a pilot until he retires. You have any idea what a pilot’s schedule is like? It’s definitely not a 9-5 M-F job. It’s a monthly, rotating schedule, full of long trips and a lot of time wasted traveling. I have a fav who is a female pilot who is living in Hawaii and her hubby lives in Arizona. They haven’t seen each other for 6 months. It just takes

the right kind of girl with an independent personality. But hey, that’s just what I think. I know what you mean though, I know you commented the other day on a similar entry I had. But what keeps me going is I know that when I do these things, ie get married or have children, I am going to be ready, and it will be the right time for me, and that makes it worthwhile to know. Chin up. 🙂

I know it will be the same for you. Sorry, 400 character limit keeps cutting me off. :/

[bliss]

I want children so badly it hurts sometimes.

MeghanwithanH

xxxxscreamxxxx

((BIG HUGS)) I know how you feel, even tho I have been married for 10 years it hasn’t happened for us. Maybe some day we may adopt. I’m alot older than u, and u still have plenty of time. I wish the best for u in finding a true love and having children. And ur waist line, there’s more to love. But I can understand u again there too, I need to loose a bunch of weight myself. Don’t give up too quickly hun. U seem like a very sweet guy.

Britty.

aww hun, you will find a woman who appreciates you, ALL of you meaning job and all… follow your passion… follow your heart hunny cuz you deserve it. and you will be happy with someone one day, and I KNOW someday you’ll have a little you <3

Jah's Daughter

i hear ya!!! Wanna be my back-up-husband???? 😉 I have been told every woman should have one of those… 😉 No but I am in the same boat… I’d love to have kids … or kid… but to be honest I don’t think I will… I dont’ think I will find the right guy. And I don’t mean to be negative or anything but the older I get the more picky I get and the more i love my own space… it would have to be

superman or something for me to actually be willing to make a change to my routine… it’s like in that Carrie Underwood song: The more boys I meet the more I love my dog…” right on sister 😉

~L~

November 20, 2009

You gotta do what you love. And, hey, at least you’re losing weight. That’s always a good thing. And who knows? What you love may lead to who you can love–and who can love you.

LiNdZi

*hugs* 🙁

~!~Saraqael~!~

November 22, 2009

there are ppl out there who would be fine with what u do and all that comes with it, don’t change urself just bc it will make it easier to find someone to be with, it’s not worth it and u will end up full of resentment, it will all happen when it’s meant to, and i feel ur pain on the weight thing, i’m in bigger clothes than i’ve ever been in all my life, and i hate it… *HUGS*

-katherineelizabeth-

you are AWESOME at what you do and will find a way that it will all come together for you. Don’t compromise your awesome skills and talented career just to make something that isn’t perfect potentially become right.