heavenly beauty

i am in this floating state of bliss. 

even in the face of the things that are about to go on in the next few days…  allow me to elaborate.

yesterday i spent more time with her, we got dinner at a local tai restaurant, then took our food over to a grassy patch in the seattle center.  then i went to the opera (she was working it of course).  after the opera we got together with a few friends and went out to our friends’ lake side cabin, where we proceeded to stay up all night.

i won’t talk much about the night/morning, but i will say this.  romance is laying in blankets on the grass at dawn while a soft mist of rain falls.

i will say one more thing, very unexpected, but none-the-less welcomed.

as for today (monday) i still have not slept and i work at midnight.  but i am reeling from experiences from previous in the day and am unsure if i should take a sleep aid to conk out… i’d rather not.

so i work from midnight-9am and i will come home and attempt to sleep.  after that i will be picking up my sister at the ferry to go to my great-grandmother’s funeral service.  i know, i didn’t write about it.  it was very sudden, just like my grandfather.

its odd because i seem to lose grandparents in pairs.  my grandmother and grandfather in 1999, now my grandfather and my great-grandmother.  i’m not as devestated as i was with my grandpa.  i lived with him and then spent all that time with him at my parent’s.  however my great-grandma i knew well also, but she had been declining for years.  i believe she was 94.

she has not known people for some time, and it was time.  i guess now is really the first time i’ve thought about it…  i don’t like letting people into my weaknesses.  and i’m saddened because i hadn’t seen her in over a year and i didn’t exactly work very hard to see her… not that i was avoiding… just never had a chance.

*takes pin and pops sigh bubble above head* wow, that was a reality check.

so yeah… thats tomorrow.

then i will come home from that and see the third opera in Wagner’s Ring Cycle (really the only one i wanted to see).  after that i will come home and sleep for about 4 hrs before going back to work from 5am-2pm. 

after that i assume i will crash, or maybe she can come over and watch a movie with me (while i crash)…

i’m not shutting you out.  i promise.  i’m just not sure how to talk about things that i myself have a hard time dealing with.  too much is going on at the same time.  and i’m afraid of when my emotions overload…  i’m not sure who to talk to…

thanks for your proverbial ears.

– noah