Difficult Subject: Suicide
okay, so i’m going to talk about a difficult subject today. one that is especially difficult for me.
Suicide
to start off, i saw this article today: Girl Commits Suicide after Cyberbullying
if you don’t want to watch the video, here’s the short end of it. Girl moves from Ireland to Massachusettes, is in the 9th grade and gets harassed daily from most of the other kids. the harassment then continued on Facebook, where people would leave horrible notes, and also texts. they aren’t sure, but authorities think this lead to her killing herself.
this is a very sad, but also common tale. i was harassed a good deal in 9th grade, but i also went to a hick town high school (just the year before i got there, the "Freshmen Paddle" had been retired… it was still in the Gym Foyer my entire time at that high school). luckily i was spared some by one of the seniors that was in band with me. she took it upon herself to take me and several others under wing and protect us. she was a wonderful person for this, and i’m sad i didn’t get to know her better. (i repaid the kindness my senior year by doing the same thing and looking out for as many freshmen as i could.)
anyway, i digress.
this is kind of hard to admit, but during my sophomore year i made a plan to take my own life. now i can look back on it and see that it is a combination of the harassment i received, and the depression i didn’t know existed. that being said, i came very close to doing it. i didn’t because in the end i couldn’t hurt my friends and family like that… but everyday i think about it. every sharp knife, every tall landing… but my view hasn’t changed. i’d rather suffer with whatever pain i have (whether real or perceived) than cause pain on others.
which leads me to the point of this entry. i’m always saddened to hear about people who couldn’t find their reason to live. and i know this is silly to think, but i always wonder what they were thinking, what thoughts swirled in their head, and if given the opportunity, could they have chosen a different path.
i understand how suicide is a selfish act, but at the same time, i understand completely why people would resort to it. i guess this entry has no purpose…
i want to help people, and i know that some times that is impossible. which is why this story effected me i guess.
so yeah. i hope you have a wonderful week! i’m slowly getting around to noting you all. if you haven’t received one yet, you will soon. (i hope).
– noah
ugh that is so hard. when I was 17, one of my good friends committed suicide. hardest funeral ever. so sad. 🙁
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Woefully, I have little to contribute here, other than I’m glad you found your reason and are still here. 🙂
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i think many people dont stop to think of those left behind, sometimes depression will do that. I think many people reach a point where it is considered but never taken further. Sadly, some that may have been saved did too good a job of an attempt. this whole cyber bullying thing needs addressing. it is easy to say dont go online but it can be such a saturation of bullying. it really is terrible
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My cousin killed himself and it affected our whole family. I just hate it.
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I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t had been too close to this subject throughout my upbringing and I’d also be lying if I didn’t admit that I still don’t indulge the idea. But I can never bring myself to go through with it. Is it strange to admit that I use the mere idea as a means to cope in the first place? Sort of like, “well, there’s always THIS option…” Weird.
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*hugs* I know we’ve talked about this, and you know how I feel. It’s a completely sucky situation no matter how it’s looked at.
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People don’t take bullying seriously enough, and I find that to be the real tragedy. This poor girl isn’t the first to commit suicide because of it, and she won’t be the last. I just wish people would realize that bullying doesn’t build character or make people stronger. Stuff like this hits pretty close to home; I was horrendously bullied in middle school, and it’s left its mark. ~
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They don’t allow me enough characters to respond to this hah but I have so many feelings when it comes to this subject. You have no idea how much a kind smile can change somebody’s path..that is why I make it a point to be nice to almost everyone I see and in high school I befriended every outcast. It’s a simple thing, but it’s something ordinary people like us can do to make a change.
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I did my summer research project on cyber-bullying… really scary stuff. =( I am so glad you are still here.
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P.S. Your link didn’t work for me. I got a series of videos totally non-related. I watched a half dozen or so, but I had no idea how to find it!
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I can only hope that she found the peace she was looking for. I wish kids could just hold on until they get out of high school. Things get so much better. Yes! It was taken in Seattle!
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It IS a difficult subject and I would much rather talk about it in person as my views on it are varied and complex. So…maybe some other time… would be better. But I totally get what you mean. Thanks also for the little smile. So cute 🙂
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When i was 16 my best friend committed suicide due to mental illness, but i’ve always believed that bullying was a factor also. Even 15 years after high school i have residual anger towards all the small town people who were cruel to her.
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My school’s guidence department had a “No Walk Ins Please” sign on the door and think always bothered me. Makes me wonder how many suicide/self harm attempts could have been stopped if there was more efforts to reach out to those in need. If you are passionate about the subject there is hope line who are always looking for volunteers and donations.
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thanks for your note. suicide is such a difficult subject. on one hand, yes, obviously it’s selfish and it hurts others in very deep ways. at the same time I can’t stand people who say it’s the “coward’s way out”, etc., because killing yourself and getting to the point where you think that’s your only option is scary as sh*t…there’s nothing cowardly about that. and quite frankly it’s also very selfish for other people to want you to stay alive just for their own sake, even though you’re miserable and all you want is to be dead. then again, they’re able to see a hope that you can’t…I don’t know, it just gets so confusing. I came very very close to dying on October 15th 2008, and I’m glad I’m alive now, I guess. And yet I wouldn’t have regretted it much if I died either, so I guess I’m ambivalent. All I know is when you’re in that position and feeling that way, there’s no way to snap out of it. You truly cannot think of anything else.
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