Last night

Last night I talked to Julian and ended up breaking down.  I started crying over the phone with him.  Sometimes I’m afraid that I’m too sensitive because I cry more than I probably should.  But we talked and I started to feel better.  We played Diablo II last night for a while.  The other night we had our characters fight each other, and honestly that wasn’t fun.  I didn’t like the idea of even our characters fighting.  I don’t want to do that again.  Competing in other games would be ok, but not brutally killing each other like what happens in Diablo.

Today I’m still a little bummed.  I know he’s right, that I should just enjoy the good times we’re having together now and if later on it doesn’t work out with us, then it doesn’t.  I need to take that in and believe it.  Because I REALLY want it to work out with him.  In some way I’m afraid that I might become shallow and want someone with a perfect body or who is rich or something.  I’m afraid that after we spend a lot of time together, I won’t be satisfied.  But Julian is sweet and wonderful and he makes me feel good.  I should enjoy being with him while it’s good and worry about whatever comes later if it comes.

Now I’m off to the mosque for part 6 of 8 of my sociology professor’s attempts to convert me.