Sorry I disappeared again.

 I’ve been getting ready for school. The semester started on the seventh.

That day. Gods, that day. That morning, Casey’s mom picjed me up and we headed to the train station. We were at one of the intersections when Casey and her mom noticed a dog. Casey yelled, and we were going to hit it. Her mom slowed down and swerved a little, but she hit it anyway. We didn’t kill the dog, but it sounded like we hurt it fatally. We stopped, shaken and upset, and a big, red Dodge plowed into the back corner, the one on the other side of me. The impact was intense; it’s a little white sedan. We all started screaming and crying. The lady driving the Dodge backed up, killed the dog, waved, and left. Fortunately, we’re all fine. Not even a bumped head.

The rest of the day, and the rest of the week, has been good. My classes are good, and people talk to me. I like that, actually.

The worst part, though, is that I’m still shaken. I’ve slept with my light on three nights in a row. I almost missed the commuter bus home because I was too scared to cross the street without the crosswalk. Actually, I’m terrified when I cross the street; I almost had a panic attack when I crossed without the crosswalk. I keep thinking that if I’d been sitting on the other side of the car, it could have been a lot worse. I don’t know how to drive, but you can be sure that I’m not going to be driving anytime soon. Every time I see someone else crossing the street, I can almost see the car hitting them.

Killing them.

My mom and Casey’s mom keep asking me if I’m okay. I keep saying that I am, but now, I’m not entirely sure. Ugh. I’m crazy enough as it is!

I haven’t set my sights on anyone yet.

I’m kind of thinking of talking to Luis again. He’s been talking to Casey; she thinks he freaked out because she broke up with Sarkis. It wasn’t that he was being a douche, he was just being a…coward? I don’t know. Gods, do I want someone in my life so badly that I’ll resort to asking Luis again? What even?

Whatever, at the very least, I’ll wait for him to talk to me. Casey might put the idea in his head, but I need to stop caring either way.

Ughhhh.