Oh, it hurts to be this good.

 Ugh.

I feel like I’m stuck between an idiot and a crazy place.

Well, sort of.

I haven’t spoken to Luis since I last saw him, despite the fact that he texted me the other morning. True story: bitches love commas (to quote Casey). I don’t think I’m going to reply, either.  I seriously just don’t want to deal with it. I don’t want to deal with him. I’m tired. That’s all there is to it. I’m tired of him, I’m tired of the way he just swoops in from out of nowhere and, like inserts himself back into my life. I’m fucking tired of him not using commas. I said this last time, but since I’ve only just remembered that I actually wrote that, I’m repeating it.

Noel and I have been talking a very little bit. I make a status on Facebook, he comments, I reply. He makes a status on Facebook, I comment, he replies. I feel awkward when I talk to him, mostly because of how I brushed him off after he said that. I feel bad! He’s a nice guy, and I’ve known him for years.

Still.

That doesn’t change the fact that I’ve found a new fixation. The cute drummer. We’ve been talking a bit, and flirting, just a little. I’m going to get his number before we leave for Carpinteria, you mark my words. He’s invited me to a show that his band was playing at, but I couldn’t go. He invited me to one of his plays. I couldn’t go.

I really need a license, and a car.

I mean, it would be really nice to do something where we could actually talk. You know, go to lunch, walk down the Boulevard, go to the park, go hiking…

I literally spent 80% of my chemistry lecture yesterday daydreaming about going on dates like that with him.

I just have to be brave and get his number, and hope that he’s not insipid, or annoying, or crazy. I feel like my standards are getting unattainable, or maybe I’m just bored too easily, or maybe, just maybe, you should actually talk to someone every once and a while, because it keeps them interested.

Yeah, I have an ax to grind. I’m still irritated. I’m like a terrier or something. Too bad, though. I’d be a much nicer person if I wasn’t.

Anyway.

I’ve made the hotel reservations for Carpinteria next month. I’m so stoked. I need this, desperately. I’ve wanted to go back since I left last July. Casey and I are going for a few days, and it’ll be nice.  It’ll actually be really, really awesome because I’ve decided that I can be confident this summer, and she knows how to work her wiles in my favour. It’s worked several times. Anyway, her dad is going to spend a day there, and then my mom is going to spend a day there, so everyone gets to benefit. But do you know who benefits most?

Me!

That would be because I get The Spot, and the Worker Bee, and great antique stores, and the beach, oh, the beach!

Gods, I get to go home!