I don’t even know, man.

 So we’re talking over Facebook, and he keeps calling me hot. Well, no, not quite. He’s calling me "hotte."

Everyone thinks that he freaked out because he was totally shaken by Casey and Sarkis’ breakup, but honestly, this is not doing anything good for my trust issues. And gods, calling them trust issues is about as light and easy as that gets. I do not know how to take compliments, and when it’s something like that, I just get really cynical and fucking screwed up.

Honestly, it’s really bothering me. I’ve had people call me pretty. I’ve had people give me that bogus line, "You have a pretty face." That one I get a lot. That’s probably one of the most common compliment I get.

Anyway, last time we spoke, he never called me cute or hot or whatever.

Honestly, I miss that. If someone is going to compliment me, I want it to be more significant and real than cute or hot. I know that I am neither of these things, so why are you telling me that I am?

I’m probably just setting up ridiculous defense mechanisms, but honestly, if I am, they’re grounded in just about everything that has ever happened to me.

Ugh, why am I freaking out like this? I’m so freaking… I don’t even know.