And you’ll fall for every empty word I say.

Ugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I don’t even know. It’s like the male population decided to make my life an awkward place, all at the same time.

Okay, well, maybe not. I just like to exaggerate things.

First, it was Noel and that text and the fact that I haven’t spoken to him since last week. Not gonna lie, I feel kind of bad. Save the, uh, wolf thing, he’s fairly normal. I’ve known the guy since I was thirteen! Maybe if I don’t look at him as boyfriend material, but rather, guy-I-could-possibly-be-into material, that will change it.

Maybe.

I hope.

But then today.

I swear, that boy has the best/worst timing known to humankind. I’ve just hit this state where I don’t even understand my feelings.

I hadn’t spoken to Luis since December. We chatted over Facebook a little, and it felt supremely awkward for me. He was calling me cute and funny, and he was carrying on about needing a hug from me. I was ignoring the compliments and telling him that I couldn’t hug people while playing Tetris. I got off the hook, but then today, on the way to the bus, guess who flagged me down and offered me a ride to the train station!

If you guessed Luis, then you would be correct. Revel in that.

I didn’t feel that awkward because I am well and truly over him. I wouldn’t mind being his friend, but he’s insisting on hanging out sometime, and I had to lie about getting a new phone when I said that I didn’t have his number. True story: I deleted it. Sorry, but if you don’t talk to me (at all) for months at a time, I get bored, and I just don’t want to hang out. And when I say that I wouldn’t mind being his friend, I really mean his Facebook friend. I’m just beyond caring. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of him suddenly jumping in when I forget about "Oh, hey, maybe…" and find another guy to fixate on. Or few other guys. You know.

And yet, here I am, thinking that we should hang out at the Valencia mall one of these days so I can ask him why he never held my hand or anything.

I just want to bash my head into a wall.

Don’t worry, I won’t. I’ll just flirt with a cute drummer and hope against hope that he’s not as off as the others.