04/26/2011

One addict helping another….

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Sadly, I don’t remember her name anymore, but there was this nurse at Hazelden who checked me in for my 28 day stay. I remember her because she was dope fiend like me with eight years clean and she made it very clear that lying to her would be futile and possible deadly. "Now is the time to get honest…..get honest or die." I wondered, why a place like Hazelden, which charged 30,000$ for their services would hire junkies. I know plenty of junkies…..free of charge.

I tried to explain  I was different……I could handle my use….my life required it. I was convinced that I was special. "You should see my GPA! I have a house, a child, a husband, a full-time job, a part-time job and two cats! Do you know how smart I am?!" YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!

She said, "Being smart doesn’t keep you from being an addict. If you want to keep being terminally unique…go ahead, but I don’t recommend it." As she poked and prodded she told me her story. She talked about the days when she used and how much her habit cost her in terms of money and soul, losing her children and employment. She talked about dealing and trading…..the filth of it all, but she also made it clear that we do recover……recovery is possible. We shall see…