swimming trunks of doom

I went to get a swimsuit today, because I figured such a thing would come in handy in Florida in a few weeks. The last swimsuit I got, I suppose was about 2 or 3 years ago. It is still fine, but something new is always nice and I could always use a new pair (of swimming trunks, that is).

You would think finding a pair of swim trunks for a guy would be an easy thing, well so did I. I’m a simple kind of guy, so I don’t need anything fancy. I’m also pretty modest, so hell no to those banana saddle / short speedos / bikini style trunks. Going through the stores, I came across suits with wacky patterns, mostly curves and lines going down the sides, with no less than three different colors intertwined. I found light colored suits – no way to those. A majority of the swimwear had floral designs to them. Yes, patterns of flowers. I was expecting to find one with a fig leaf printed in the front. I suppose they were trying to channel a Hawaiian or surfer theme. I did find a few with beer bottle designs on them.

It seems nowadays they all come with pockets that can be buttoned or zipped, which is handy, although still not good to carry money and things like that. I don’t know if women’s swimwear comes with pockets and buttons, but I suspect the majority of them do not. (I didn’t look. Honest.)

I remember some of the swimsuits I used to have. I once had this pair with thin blue and green vertical stripes (is it a blue one with green stripes? Or is it green with blue stripes?). I had this one red pair (yes, it had floral patterns) that I liked until I outgrew it. It was a pure happy red… however, it didn’t quite agree with the chlorine content of the pool. After a while, its color slowly changed to plum, then it became a sort of reddish purple. I found this highly amusing for some reason, of course.

Anyway, I ended up with a slate grey/red thing and a blue one. (After I got it, I realized the blue one almost looked like a pair of my boxers. I should remember to be careful with that one.)

Naturally they have pockets.

No, no floral patterns this time.