The painful son.

I really am making myself sick over something that has less to do with me and more to do with him. N. My youngest son. He’s not a real young man and is quickly on his way to being 40. He is married, has 2 children from his wife’s 2 nd marriage, N has one son from his previous marriage.  He and his wife have a daughter together who is 6. His wife and family live in the same city as me.

This son has so much hate towards me. His father asked him to help move some stuff in the basement. He came over last night and brought one of his teen boys to help.  I was wasn’t aware he was coming over. He showed up at 9 pm. I let him in and he walked past me like I was invisible.  The rest of the time if I said one word he would tell me to shut up or dismiss what I say. I wish he wasn’t so angry.  I haven’t done anything to him, or anyone in his family. The only time he is decent to me is when he needs something. Such as…picking up the 6 year old from daycare, picking boys up from school of the get sick. Taking kids to sport practices. other than those few times he is horrid to me. I

I am in such a depression over this. I feel like crying most the time.  My stomach is hurting.  I just want to look at him and say ” don’t worry N, I will be dead soon enough and you won’t have to see me or give me another thought. “.