one week thank god.

bitch.. the windown reset itself and ate my entry.. grr to that.

it doesn’t really matter anyways, i was just complaining about my lack of a social life, followed by my complaining about how much money i don’t have. 

i really dont give a fuck about the party i’m throwing tomorrow… oh well… last night i made a list of about a dozen people i really should call and make sure they know about… mostly peole  i haven’t seen… ellie, skippy, wehinger, rachel laurin, christine, mitch, romanelli, reinardys (both ann and sara), and some of the others that i’ve only seen once or twice that i wasn’t sure if they knew about the damn thing…

but guess what… i dont give a fuck anymore… it’s kind of that status where if nobody cares to know what i’m doing or that i’m around, then i wont really go out of my way either… I have a feeling most peole dont give a fuck anymore and therefore we all just sit around miserable in jvl.

FUCK JANESVILLE… i’m going back to school in one week… and hopefully things will go really well and i wont have to come back to this god awful town just to be ignored again.  I’ll get a summer gig that starts two days after school gets out… and goes until school starts… NO JVL SUMMER TIME… people say… awww, but i’ll miss you… bull shit.

pissed off a little bit… ya think.

——-

i’m just really fed up with a lot of things… not all janesville’s lack of social anything, but i guess thats where i’m putting all my negative energy… i dont want to put all my negative energy on my lack of money, or my foggy future plans, or my continuing problems with the single life. 

sometimes i think that i should go back to working in the nasco wherehouse… do theatre part time, find a regular wisconsin guy, and be normal.

and when i do that, i get scared, cuz i dont want to do any of that, but when the future looks as cloudy as it is, It really makes it difficult.

—

but enough of the pessimism side of me… i think thats been my problem through the past semester… i fell into a big glass of half empty.  well, screw all of you who did that to me… i’m going to look on the sunnier side of things… the happy side of everything.

i want to be happy.

and i can do it too… you just wait.

d.