Iris –

Well now, school i guess is back. not officially yet, since classes dont start til wednesday, but still, i’ve had my fair share of events so far.

last night was a psudo-party at 1009… it was really nice…. relaxed and more conversational in nature.  i had fun… so many people to talk to. however, i didn’t really get to talk to anyone for any major length of time, oh well.  such is life.  afterwards, we ended up going over to girl talk and we sat around there for awhile… it was interesting, i’ve been in that house two days in a row after never being there for 2 1/2 years… i guess its a different circle… and jackson has actually been like socially nice to me… we’ve never really talked before, but i’ve actually had some nice conversations with that guy in the past two days.

i dont want to really explain too much, but let me say that there are some interesting thoughts going through my mind… its part of my different outlook on life… but also i’m percieving something that i hadn’t before… especially from last night and today…. and its very strange. but in a good way.  in fact, i actually dreamed about it last night…

Dreams for me are really special when i actually remember them… it happens on the rare occiasion… and even more rare is a dream about people in my real life. well, last night… well actually this morning i had one of those dreams…. and it was good, but not in a sex dream kind of way.  it was a different kind of good…. and for some reason i think it might be a future forseen dream. 

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so today i cut  my hair shorter, then danced, then chilled and organized music, then watch pirates of the carribean (yes, again.)  that movie has a very strong freedom message in it… and you know how i feel about freedom… that whole carribean island part with jack and elizabeth is soooo amazing for me. 

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and whats wierd is that the more i think about it, i can see how i am obsessed with this freedom idea, yet i can seem to completely let go and just enjoy it.  part of my slight obsessive-compulsive managerial nature.   so i’m a hypocrite in a way… or just a dreamer. i guess more of the latter… cuz i dont ahve nor could i really live with that kind of freedom or flying, but yet i desire it from the inner depths of my soul.

ooh thats deep.

its nearly 3am… i’m getting up at 9am just to be a good girl.  and get used to the AM shift.  but before i go to bed i think now is a good time for some writing in that real journal of mine… i need to get some thoughts down on paper because i think they’d be interesting to read again at the end of the semester.

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what a ship is…. what the black pearl is….  is freedom.

d.