i sent it today.

Hello.

After taking plenty of time to consider my options, and trying to decide what is the overall "best" thing to do, I regret to inform you that I no longer want to produce my solo for the dance concert. 

I fully realize the problems that may occur in regards to the overall process (lights, show order, etc) because of my move, but yet that does not overweigh the reasons for cutting this piece.  Although I initially accepted the idea of changing the music for the piece, after spending countless hours searching for music and even taking time to consider producing the piece in silence, I have found that none of these options are satisfactory to me.  In my opinion, the dance loses too much of the backbone by removing the music, and I am not able to create the story I’ve intended with any of the alternatives.  Sure, I entertained the option of playing some random music and do the number, but then I only feel like I’m doing dance moves rather than dancing. As for producing the number in silence, I find that it leaves the dance without clarity of each ‘paragraph’, and also without the emotional rises and falls that music creates.  Please understand that I sincerely tried and tried again to do what you requested, but in the end nothing has been to my satisfaction.

Producing a dance piece that is highly personal and autobiographical is a dangerous thing.  This semester has been especially emotional and troublesome for me personally, and since this piece is tied to those issues, the attempts to change an interpretation on my own life have been especially difficult.  Once again, I find myself powerless in a situation that I once had control of, and as angry and sad and frustrated as I am, I have decided that the best answer at this point is the pull the plug. 

As far as I am concerned, I would rather not discuss the issue any further unless completely necessary.  How this affects my senior choreography whatever can be determined later, but it was my understanding that we could retro-credit last year’s choreography work if needed.  As for this piece, it will not be lost.  I intend to keep it, clean it, and find other outlet(s) that will let me perform it in the way in which I firmly believe it should be produced. 

Somehow, as painful and difficult of a decision this is for me, I somehow feel that I’m doing the right thing.  I hope you can understand.