12/31/05

Just read a year’s worth of entries… a year ago that would of been hundreds! this year it was less than 30.  However, those few entries seemed to represent some very important and pivotal moments from this past year.  It all began with my last winter break… when i was preparing my damn yankees script…. as a designer…. less than a few entries later, i found the top ten list why senior year at millikin sucked… followed by the letter I sent ya-ju when i pulled my solo from the dance concert…

just like that, I saw an entry written on my ‘new’ laptop… looking forward to gateway….

and then my open diary trailed off… partially from my switch to xanga, and partially because my college career  (and 24/7 internet had ended…

it really was an ending of an era…

and now, I truly have come to a conclusion that 2005 is a year that I want to forget ever happened.  SO many things went wrong… even this past week has been a disaster.  my life is in shambles, I dont have any close friends, and the friends i do have aren’t here or around me at all to drag me out of this state of misery.

I haven’t decided if i will return to gateway in the spring.  Part of me is still thinking about how i’ve already come ridiculously close to leaving twice.  Therefore, perhaps I really should move on from this place.  However, with the current timing, I will have to keep that thought private… since my belongings and car need to stay at the gateway until april and after tour. 

Anyways, a new years resolution … to be happy again.

d.