1/4 done?

yes, i guess i’m just about a 1/4 done with the summer… two weeks down, 6 to go.  my life is really boring right now.

grades are in for last semester… it looks like shit…by far the worse GPA i’ve ever had…and i’m talking like a WHOLE POINT lower.. i guess i really did stop giving a shit about everything…. i’m still playing with my schedule for next year.  I still know that i’m taking a really light load…but my problem is that the lighter the load, the more likely i’ll be a slacker about it… maybe i should fill up my schedule from edge to edge… the only problem with that is that i dont like any of the classes here anymore.  i need out.

definetely no grad school for me…. i dont think i could handle more years of classes…i’m done.  i will not be instituionalized in a place where the problem lies in a lack of motivation.  Once a person realizes the pointlessness of the letter grades, then it all goes down hill…

…or else you realize that the correlation of work to grade is not always equal, and therefore you find that the whole system is corrupt, and why bother dealing with corruption.

—

I really don’t know where i want to go in life anymore. 

–

i am a lone wolf with no where to go.  If it wasn’t for my parents, I could totally just disappear and noone would ever find me.  The problem is that i have no idea where i would go.

—

i need something new in my life.  I thought tulsa would be it, but its really not.  For some reason, I know all too well that the friends i make here are temporary.  Everything i do here is temporary.  And therefore, why put forth any effort at all.  I know now that i dont keep up with friends after we’ve seperated.  Sure, i keep them on my buddy list.. but i dont talk to anyone. 

—

flying free comes with lonliness.  If you want to fly, expect to be lonely. 

…. maybe i should be a canadian goose.. they always fly together.

—

my hair is getting long again… its at that stupid middle length between short and long… i hate it. but for now i’m letting it go… I almost cut it today, but changed my mind, since wearing it up in a pony tail is my favorite and only thing i do with it right now.

—-

i need something to happen to me…. something interesting…. some life-altering thing… cuz nothing ever happens… and then life is boring.

d.