Being mindful when the ones around me are not
The mind is the most intriguing part of any human being and I love bringing my own mind into things to let it have a go with the world . It challenges me and pushes me to see, feel, and be something bigger and better. Being mindful about the things I spend my time doing and talking about is a crucial practice for me and I have just recently realized how important it is for me to have people in my life who also strive to be mindful and push their mentality a little bit as well. But unfortunately, I do not have anyone around me currently who is like that. I have married the love of my life this year only to feel uneasy a few months later that he would not fulfill that mindfulness requirement my mental health and well being so desires. I strive to have meaningful conversations with loved ones who just simply don’t seem to be as like-minded as I thought. I want to discuss things that challenge me and inspire me to dig deeper and live harder, things that will only lead to more personal development and growth. I want to be mindful with the time I have here on this planet so that I can experience whatever it is the true meaning of life is – I am so eager to discover more because I know it’s out there. If only someone would be just as eager to go with me.
You seem to be near the beginning of your journey, so it is still early. You may come to discover in time that your husband IS the person who will fulfill your requirements. If not, then there are others out there, perhaps a person who you have not met yet.
Other people do not define who you are as a human being. YOU do. Enjoy every day somehow, and do not dwell on finding that other person or that “true meaning of life” right away. It will happen, possibly when you least expect it. You be true to you!
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Be authentically you and you will attract your tribe. Took me 38 years to find mine, but i’m so happy I did x
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I am currently going through my deepest slump for several years, because I feel exactly like this. I am commenting now, as it is at this time that I am trying to place my thoughts into words as that is the only way I can keep my ADHD focused on a particular issue for a long enough time to actually go deep into it. This is the first post I saw that explains exactly how I am feeling, so instead of creating my own, I am going to try to add to this.
I started my relationship with a simple but amazing person 7 years ago, when I was in a very active military unit. As you can imagine, being in such a unit limits your social circle to mostly that particular circle, so the discussions are not on a deep, philosophical or meaningful way. There life is simpler, it is about looking forward to the next paycheck, the next car, the next party, the next lay or the next deployment. I joined this as it was exactly what I wanted at that time, I hate routine, I hated the semi intelligent crowd whos arguments I could immediately see through as not intelligent at all, so I decided to go down the exciting path. On the other side I never saw myself as the grunt who retired after 25 years of service either, I had a lot of ambition that I knew I cannot tame.
So now that the background is explained we go into the current situation. I met this girl during the service and after I started studying again on a part time basis. Two years ago I graduate with a masters and find myself in an interesting and high end job with responsibilities way above the title which is not relevant. And now I am in a different country with different circles which are at my same intellectual level and sometimes even higher. I have meaningful and discovering conversations during flights with colleagues and clients that I respect and admire.
What is now being painfully apparent is that I cannot have these conversations, at all, with the most important person in my life; the partner who has been at my side through unbelievable bull… from my end, has held my hand through the worse of my Bipolar and ADHD moments combined together, has suffered unendlessly from my inability to control my urges for instant gratification no matter how much I know they are self destructive, and who has left hew own life to join me in this new country. I am grateful for everything she did and still does, I respect her, and I am now a much better person as I am able to control most of my actions because of her. Yet I still feel thorn apart as I want to have these conversations with my partner, and it is unrealistic for me to expect this from her and also not fair at all, as I was happy with this before my major life change and transition to civilian life in a highly motivated and ambitious environment.
How is your situation a year later?
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