You dont need to bother.

BOTHER (Stone Sour)

 

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Alot of me hurts right now. I don’t like myself very much right now.

So in case you dont realize.I…am…Not…right in the head today.

* I am my worst enemy*

*once I am done I won’t let go until it bleeds*

I need sleep. I need to see mister intense. I need some sort of validation that liking him this much isnt stupid.That I am not some silly girl with a silly crush and my feelings are returned.

That is what I need.

So. Tonight. Yeah,Dustin didnt show up. And I argued for hours as myself and not my self with my friend arjay online.

And..I feel really depressed now.

..

I have poetry.

ON my knees

How much further must I go.

Just rip the scar off

Prick it until it bleeds.

I am such a lovely fool for you. Such a lovely fool.

Oh why must I feel such things.

Such things.

I hate to feel when It all comes crashing around

Sweet splender

hereunder.

I love the way you kiss my face.

I love the way you.

What if I just loved you?

Love you?

Why must I have to keep crawling?

Crawling.

Oh you. You are so pretty

Putting the damage on.

Oh you.

…

Song that reminds me/inspired this poem.

Putting The Damage On
Tori Amos
(Boys For Pele)

Glue
Stuck to my shoes
Does anyone konw why you play with an orange rind
You say you packed my things
And divided what was mine you’re off to the mountain top
I say her skinny legs could use sun
But now I’m wishing
For my best impression
Of my best Angie Dickinson
But now I’ve got to worry
Cause boy you still look pretty
When you’re putt the damage on

Don’t make me scratch on you door
I never left you
For a banjo
I only just turned around for a poodle
And a corvette
And my impression
of my best Angie Dickinson
But now I’ve got to worry
Cause boy you still look pretty
When you’re putting the damage on

I’m trying not to move
It’s just you ghost
Passing through
I said
I’m trying not to move
It’s just your ghost passing through
It’s just your ghost
Passing through
And now
I’m quite sure
There’s a light in you platoon
I never seen a light move
LIke yours
Can do to Me
So now I’m wishing
For my best impression
of my best Angie Dickinson
But now I’ve got to worry
Cause boy you still look pretty
To me
But I’ve got a place to go
I’ve got a ticket to your late show
And now I’m worrying cause even still
You sure are pretty
When you’re putting the damage on
Yes
When you’re putting the damage on
You’re just so pretty
When you’re putting the damage on

….

Oh yes..very fucked up today.

I need a labotomy.

sara