working on his nothing

Thomas has been working since he is five it seems. Before this job he did just want his mother wanted.

She was a perfectionist so nothing felt right.

How can you be perfect all the time and still have happiness?

He wishes he was his brother John. As he puts on his tie.

John has three kids and is a stay at home dad.

He has richness else where.

His sweet kid brother John.

He does not have to grow up.

Mother doesn’t care if John is Perfect.

Thomas gets out his perfectly polished shoes. Rolls on his socks. Puts them on,one at a time then carries the shoes to the table.

He puts the shoes on last. Because His mother hates a scuffed shoe.

Imagine A 42 year old man,carrying his shoes in a bag because they need to remain unscuffed until he got in the car for work.

He drinks his coffee. And Watches the clock slowly tick.

745.

Time to put the shoes on.

He puts them on one at a time.

And walks out the door.

Now, Mother will be very mad  if he is late any where. So he shows up five minutes early every where.

Even if she won’t be the one to recieve him.

He got to work,exactly at 752.

This is a science. His schedule. He doesnt like a single break in it.

He takes the elevator to his floor were his perfectly neat office is.

He unlocks his door and turns on his computer at exactly 8 am.

He types alittle. faxes some things. Takes a conference call at exactly 915. And all the while he thinks of John.

How much he misses his kid brother.

He would like  to call him, But he is going to get behind if he doesnt do things just so.

Mother always taught him,schedules are important.

He puts all his things away. Opens his curtains.Looks out to see it is raining.

Calls for his lunch.Chinese take out. After all,He cant scuff his shoes.

He thinks to himself. I will call John at lunch.

He files somethings,He highlights some papers.

He takes another conference call.

11 18.

His secretary brings him his lunch he ordered.

He eats the same thing every day at lunch.

He knows what he likes. And he sticks to it.

12 27 pm.

His chest contracts.

His eyes start to tear. He thinks, I never got around to calling john.

12 45 pm.

Thomas’s secretary finds him on the floor.

Perfectly immaculate Thomas.

Amelia has had this crush on him since high school. And she sits there and weeps. She calls 911.

They tell her she is dead. And she calls John.

145.

John recieves the news that his big brother has passed away.

He was making brownies with his little girls.

Jamie and Andrea.They are four and two.

That was the day they first saw thier daddy cry.

Johns tears were because at 2pm He was going to invite Thomas over for dinner.

Those tears were because he and his brother haven’t talked in years since mother died.

He always admired Thomas for being so perfect, and driven.

And tonight he was going to try to set Thomas up with Amelia.

He wanted Thomas to be as happy as he is.

…