When you close your eyes to your nightmare
Step One.Relax. Breathe.It isn’t as bad as it seems.
Tori tells herself as she realizes once again she is in a vaguely familiar place with no resemblance of how she got there.
The dreams. A strange man. Tearing her clothes off.
The Alcohol.
What will Harry think?
She stumbles out of the mattress on the floor and looks for her purse. Finds her cell phone. 12 Missed calls.
Frantic calls from Harry.
Where are you? Call me. Are you missing time again? Who is he?
Why doesn’t rose love me?
Rose doesn’t love anyone.
She doesn’t even care about our safety.
What if this man killed us this time?
Who is he to rose?
She looks for a bathroom.
Out stumbles a guy from a room.
He smiles at her.
Are you leaving again he asks. Looking sad,and messed up.As easily as messed up as she felt.
She felt torn. Between this man she doesn’t even know and her Harry.
Her Husband of ten years and her five year old boy.
She stumbled around him.
I don’t even know you. SHe yelled.
You know me well enough to wake up in my bed at least four times.
You know my name every night. I wish you knew it now.
I don’t want to.
You aren’t important to me.
If I wasn’t important how did you get here again Tori?
How do you know my name?
Well I know alot of things. You think it is Rose doing this, But deep down we both know you want it to.
Or you wouldn’t be here. Would you?
WHy doesn’t Harry stop you?
If you were my girl I would have enough back bone to make both you and Rose happy.
Does Harry not love you?
Rose loves me. Tori,If you just gave me a chance..
NO! she yelled pushing him out of the way.
SHe locked herself in the bathroom and dialed Harry.
Honey!Where are you?
Are you at that guys house again? That singer?
She blinked. Her mouth got dry. She started crying.
Do you love me Harry?
He didn’t say anything.
Do you love me Harry?
What is wrong with you Tori?
Do you love me Harry? Why am I here? WHy didn’t you look for me? WHy do you always wait for me to call you?
Do you even love me anymore?
Oh Tori. I don’t know. I am always tired. You run away and lose track of time. Sometimes weeks at a time.
I don’t even know what to tell people anymore.
Tell them I am sick. That I am broken. That my monster of a stepfather made me break into a jillion pieces.
She felt hysterical. She felt shakey. She was crying so hard her body shook.
She threw the phone.
Fuck him.
Fuck him.
SHe looked at her hands.She never even wore the ring any more.
SHe was tired of what she become to keep harry.
SHe enjoyed being on the other side of the looking glass and watching Rose.
Rose loved this singer. He didnt have sex with her and fall asleep. He sang songs to her and touched her face. He didnt notice other girls and looked at her like she was the moon..
and the stars.
How about that?
Maybe what she really wanted was out the door waiting for her to calm down.
Then she listened. He was outside the bathroom door.
Tori?
I don’t even know your name.
Its John.
John? Do you love me?
Very much. I miss you more then my heart knows how to handle when you go back to that tomb.
Harry doesn’t know me since he died.
I know Tori.
He blames me.
I know Tori.
Tori?
Yes.
Why go back to a man that doesn’t love you? Harry Junior isn’t there anymore.
He is in my Heart John.
I know. But he isn’t in that house.You told me Harry sleeps in a different room.
He hasnt even talked to you besides to get you from me in four years.
He doesn’t know you.
Open the door Tori.
I am scared.
Of what?
Of you.
John laughs. I am not used to women being scared of me.
Why not?
Because they normally don’t even see me. I am not the front man. I am not the drummer.
I play bass.
You play it beautifully.
I play it for you from my heart.
Tori?
Yes John?
I love you.
I love you too John. Maybe that is why I am scared.
I think you are right Tori.
Let me in.
She opens the door.
She gives John her hand.