When love was love.

Lucy doesn’t even recognize her own face any more. She has been losing herself slowly for years now.

Have you ever gotten out of a shower and stare at your own reflection for hours that it just becomes a blur and you are so unaware of your own existence you don’t even realize that your hair is standing up and your shivering?

Well that is what Lucy is doing now.

It started out as a way to ease her pain,Pain inflicted upon her of a very young age.

Then it moved to an addiction.

She didn’t even care if love was involved as long as he took her away and made her feel anything but that.

She didn’t care if he even made her happy as long as briefly she was filled.

As long as she acted out on this compulsion that has over come her desire to cut and kill every man that is running his hands on her.

Because the truth of it is after they leave,After she washes any residual proof of them,She still remembers.

She made a mistake once. Letting someone know she thought he was beautiful.

She loved him unconditionally and he took advantage.

So as she steps away from her reflection,as she wraps a towel around her body.

A body she can not claim even as her own any more.

She gave it away too many times you see.

She lays down on her bed and pulls the sheet up.

She thinks back before he changed her.

Thirteen and unaware.

And wonders inside herself.

Can I go back?

Can I be her again?

She cries herself to sleep and soon her breath is shallow.

And her mind is at peace because she is thinking of simpler times.

When love was love. And Lucy was Lucy.

 

 

……………

I haven’t written much more then things like this in a while. No actual life entries. Because really, everything is nice and wonderful.

I am still with Christopher get closer and the bond gets more beautiful and with that I am glad and thankful. Christmas has been wonderful and things in the whole are very good. I am sure if I tried really hard I could think of something to complain about..But there really isn’t much of a point. because the good is so great it always outweighs the bad.

God bless each of you and your families. Have a great holiday. What ever it might be for you and your own.

Love,Siarai