This aint no thinking thing.

THIS AINT NO THINKIN THING (Trace Adkins)

 

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I know. I think I have figured something out..Or it figured it out for me.

The way I feel is not supose to make sense.

None of it does. And here is another thing,He did not tell me if he still wanted me around. In fact what I gathered from the responce he assumes I want nothing to do with him because of the phone call.

But that is where he is wrong.Very wrong.

And I supose of that makes me wrong so be it.

I want to hold him. I want alot of things.

But since that phone call My brain has been pretty cynical.

My heart adores him,my brain is on all men are evil mode.

So which do I trust?

I don’t feel like I can trust myself at all.

This is entirely fucked up. Normally when I like a boy I can at least stay afloat.

I know where I stand. I know a bit of what is going on.

I don’t with him. Scares the piss out of me.

I have always had my head on straight.

I knew what i was getting myself into. I knew what i wanted out of it.

But before when I liked a man I have always felt disconnected from him. It was like I did that on purpose so he wouldnt get to close. But I didnt diconnect myself this time.

yeah..I wanna kick myself for it.But at the same time I am glad I didnt.

Whatever the outcome to this deal I learned alot for sure.

I still fucking adore him though.

Adios mi amigas y amigos,Siarai