February 8, 2006

I can not stand your morphine it is making me itch

Just like a Pill( a pink song)

I’m lyin’ here on the floor where you left me
I think I took too much
I’m crying here, what have you done?
I thought it would be fun

I can’t stay on your life support, there’s a
shortage in the switch,
I can’t stay on your morphine, cuz its making me
itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but shes
being a little bitch,
I think I’ll get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you’re just like a pill
Instead of makin’ me better, you keep makin’ me
ill
You keep makin’ me ill

I haven’t moved from the spot where you left me
This must be a bad trip
All of the other pills, they were different
Maybe I should get some help

……………………………

As long as i can feel numb and my heart hurts I can identify with that song.

So today I have not done much I have had alot of terrifying nightmares that kept me up most of the night. I mean the kind you wake up in a cold sweat from and are shivering all over. I was terrified.

….

I think at one time I screamed Bud and it scared him and he tried to wake me up.

I dont remember the dreams anymore. I did right after I woke up but now they faded away. Just like I feel I could. Fade away.

…

Fading into me.

I can never be this empty shell you see

Parts of me have already faded away

Faded into me.

I can never have a happy ending reserved for the ones that settle and accept

I never do either.

Too scared for either

So further I push into my mind

Scared of things That I might find

The further i push the farther I run

Away from the dark

Away from what my insides have become.

……………..

Lg. siarai