ello. I am bored..How are you?

Well I am bored. I was gonna stay up until five for when boomer calls but I am starting to get shleepy.

Which is so gonna fuck me over on sunday night. You know what? I think any boy that isnt boomer has now been filed into my just friends category. I just don’t have the pateince for silly little games.Trying to appease boys that dont even really take the effort to be my friend. I mean make  the effort man. I am not friends with *convienent friends* If ya know what I mean. And here is another Deal for him whom is having a pity..and retreating into him self. I fucking loved you. I tried to be there..and YOU RAN. That is all I want to say.I assume that if a person makes absolutely no effort to talk to you in three weeks it is better to not worry about it.

It shouldnt be a one way street. I shouldnt have to bed for your attention. So I won’t.Besides why should I?? I have a kind, beautiful, artistic soul more then ready to give me just that.

I am not gonna read your entries anymore. YOu know who you are.They just depress me. I am not gonna leave you notes. Saying I love you even as a friend has proven useless.

I will just let you rot.It seems to be what you want. maybe some day you will realize I gave a damn. Maybe some day you will realize who I was to you..Maybe someday but until then I refuse to wait. I stayed and waitted too long.

You made how you feel apparent. I feel for some one else now. I hope it grows to be bigger then you.Because once it is..I will feel better for this decision.

ANd for the other boy. I liked you for 3 years.YES 3 years. You pushed and pulled on my feelings and while I liked you. I dont think my heart can do that anymore..Or ever. So I hope maybe that female friend of yours and you will work. I just can’t be that girl you make promises to anymore. Because here is the deal. I want a REAL RELATIONSHIP. i want something that makes me smile when I wake up.SOmeone that doesnt hurt me with empty promises.Someone that doesnt run when things get scary.

I Hope I might have found that. I would like to work towards just this with him.

I hope all you all..You two boys would understand. If you cant..I donno. Just the way it is gonna be. And for future reference..You boys ran from me. So dont play the victims. Don’t bitch about how evil I am and seriously..Dont send me nasty notes. I will BLOCK YOU. I have had it. Move on.

Well that is it. It was something i had to say..Doesnt make sense to you all? It isnt written for you all : ) Adios,Siarai