.Eh..guess what?

Well Guess who sent me a mother’s day card?

Yep..G did.He says next month he is sending Bud a picture of Buds cat and some of buds stuff. If he has enough money. I will believe it when I see it. I know I sound jaded..But when ppl lie to you, you become jaded.Mind you still no actual phone call..Like he promised Bud, But he is no longer my mate so i am not gonna rag about it. I just expect people  to keep promises because i keep promises, even if it’ll kill me.

I don’t want to be jaded mind you. But what can I do about it. I can not go around trusting people if they are just gonna stab me in the back when I am not looking. I do in some parts still love him..but do you ever really stop loving someone if  you once loved them. Does those feelings just go away like magic or are they always there some where under the surface?

Well Today I woke up around 12 but I didnt sleep until almost six in the morning. I also tossed and turned for hours..might have gotten about four hours of sleep if one such as me is lucky. I did my devotion and puttered around on opendiary for a while. meanwhile while doing so I was getting asked: So are you gonna do the dishes? SO are you gonna do the laundry? So are you going to make a grocery list? So do you know what you are making for dinner? (all from my Pa) I thought of course..well why do i have to be the one doing all these things..you are sitting there..doing nothing..all day.(well nothing consisting of playing video games and drinking and eating) But eh..I got up and did the laundry. I found out what I was making for dinner, Vegan chili and Stuffed cucumber pitas in case anyone wants to come over and eat with us. *grins*But still..why was this all up to me?

I cleaned my room today. It needed a over haul. I couldnt find my music I wrote the words too.

To better explain me better maybe I should describe my room. It is bright sky blue walls. When you first go in on the left is one of those backless couches, underneath the backless couch is all of my yarn and fabric(for making quilts,crochetting blankets and making my own clothes.) next to the couch is a big cardboard table and on top of it is my purse, my cds, my cd boom box thing, my tea maker, my journals(about ten of them. Mostly poetry filled) and underneath the table is a box filled with vlay and arylic paints, and my sowing machine.Next to the table is a bunch of herbs in a big wooden box(that I am currently growing and drying for my bath soak stuff I make) and then next to that is my bunk bed. It has a curtain around the bottom half(which is wear bud sleeps) My bed is the top bunk and it has blue and pink blankets and I of course have a starry body pillow and about six other pillows and different colors.(red, green, pink, silver,yellow and white with blue swirls),Underneath my bed it is stuffed with more fabric, boxes of blank paper, old magazines I wont get  rid of,scrapbooking stuff and of course music lyrics. I also have current art projects there.Also wrapped around the posts of my bed is green ivy(fake). then the corner at the end of my bed there is buds toys, his desk and where he does his homeschool(until school starts). Next to that is the door to the bathroom. then there is a big dresser, stuffed with clothes and the last two bottom drawers has beading stuff( as in I make necklaces) Then next is my closet, in it I store my art easel, my wood flute, some of my more wrinkly clothes,my red betty bop suitcase, My blue suitcase and my dulcimer in its case. Plus medicine is on top shelf along with some of my snack foods that no one else eats(fyi: healthy crap as my Pa calls it). Then next to the closet there is my reading corner. and my bookshelf. Stacked with books, essays I am writing, miscillanious papers with stuff written on it and My other dulcimer.which is really small and I mainly use it just to make noise: P. and then next to my reading corner(otherwise known as my god ugly chair named fred) He is Blue and overstuffed and well loved. He also has a pink throw with turtles on it drapped on him( I got that blanket at a wierd sale for 25 cents, My ma took one look at it and said man. Sara that is one really really ugly blanket). Well next to Fred is my table in which I have my tea and put whatever else on it. It also has a model car on it and some of those brain puzzler things you can get at cracker barrel and of course a book of cross word puzzles. well..So today I went through all of my stuff,because mom said it was cluttered.I couldnt in goood consciense throw anything away. So It still looks the same minus, the trash has been thrown out and it has been tidied slightly.

So Whew..If you read all of that..I gotta say..wow. 😛

I just realized I can ramble a bit oh and I forgot to mention my yoga matt is behind Fred.

Well..That be all. If you want to read another rambling entry about what I think about when i can not sleep go back one.

Adios. Siarai Oh and yeah Tiamo mi amigos y mi amore.

 Ps. G called. So I am not mad. That is all.