Butterflies and Belongingness

MARY (LIVE IN STUDIO) (Tori Amos)

 

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So I am under the impression there is something really wrong with me lately. I dont feel good.For about four days straight..And I cant really pinpoint what exactly is wrong either.Just general soreness nad tiredness.

I love tori amos. Her music is brilliant.There is a song for every mood I am feeling.It is Like some of her songs are written for me. I have been losing alot of weight lately. Not really sure why.I still eat and stuff. And my diet hasnt even really changed that much.But according to my scale I have lost about another 7 pounds some how.

That is from a week ago just so you know.

*mary Can you hear me?*

All The way Home:

I feel like I might have lost me.

Along the railroad tracks.

I give it all to you.

As you pull off your slacks.

I do not know if you see it

The adoration in my eyes.

I do not know if you hear it

The hesitation in my white lies.

You aske how much I like you.

I like you..Yeah..

But here is  the deal

Only for you I feel and somewhere

Somehow.

You make me feel like.

I am not so far from home.

Not so lost.Not so..

Sorry..Just a bit of poetry..I am in one of those rambly unpridictible moods. I miss Boomer. Last night I had a dream that he was in bed with me and he was talking in my ear. He was telling me that he liked me and I was telling him that I knew and it was ok if he was scared or worried.

Then.the bed I guess tipped over and we were on the floor and all of a sudden he was on top of me.Kissing me. He was telling me I was so beautiful and so kind and he didnt deserve me. How could I deserve you? He asked me. And I cupped his face and I told him because I felt like it. Then we started to have sex.But It wasnt rough liek before. More like sweet and tender. Then When that was over I got up to use the bathroom and I came back and he was gone. And I cried. I donno..This dream just depressed the crap out of me.

I hope that doesnt happen.

I am a big girl though and if my affections for him are not returned and I have to get over him like the dream suggests I can handle it..But I would rather to not have to.

..

Last night after the date being a flop I came home and I was all of a sudden just extremely tired. I wrote boomer a note on myspace and then I had a bite to eat.Then I went to bed. I have just felt extremely tired all the time latey. I could sleep ten or twelve hours and still feel tired.

Is that normal? I donno it worries me.

Adios mi amigas,mi amigos.Siarai