A survey I stole..Hurrah.

Ten things I wish I could say to ten different people right now:

1.I love you, I really do. If I didnt hate where you live..I would so move there.You are about the only person I could see me being happy with,and not a nervous mess. You never make me worry if you love me back.

2. I wish you knew how much I like you. I have such issues. I am not sure if I trust you completely..Ninety percent of the time I think you are playing with my emotions. I f you are,will you please quit?

3.I hate you. It is that simple,and just that complicated. To hate you hurts. I use to love you so much,It hurt to breathe.I use to love you so much,I would do anything. Now I hate you so much,I wish you would disapear..and never be so effing nice to me again.

4.I wish you didnt cry yourself to sleep at night because your dad is such an asshole. I wish I could make him grow up and help him realize how much you need him.

5.I think you drink too much and it scares me. I wish you would listen to me,and I wish you would get help.

6. We use to be best friends. I love you girl,what happened to us? Did I do something? I am scared we wont even recognize each other..and I dont wanna reach out to you anymore.

7.I miss you so much it hurts. Another three years will kill me.

8.It is not your fault we broke up. It is because I dont want to hurt you. You keep saying I wont,but I know better.I am sorry I am an evil bitch,and I am sorry I ended things. I am also sorry I still want to be friends with you,and it hurts you.

9. I havent forgotten you,I just lost my faith in you. Big difference.

10.Why must you undermine my intelligence? Do you even know me anymore?

Nine things about myself:

1.The more people I meet the more I want to stay in my room watching food network with my cat.

2. I hate walmart. If I didnt like a walmart employee…I would never shop there.Seriously.(Or if my mom didnt drag me there..blech)

3. My favorite character on the reruns of charmed is Cole. I identify with him..Hey I live in a grey area..alot of the time.

4.I have to make myself not type text messages to someone alot..Cz if i texted him as often as he crossed my mind I would..have very tired fingers…and his inbox would be blowin up. : )

5.Sometimes I hardly recognize myself.

6.I dream in simlish sometimes.

7.When I get really sad, I go limp,and when I go limp I am incapable of anything but torturng myself with my thoughts…this is a very very bad place.

8.I think all of my ex boyfriends can learn a thing or two from my cat.

9.I think human kind can be the worst animal in existance,Including myself.

Eight ways to win my heart.

1.Love me,for me. Dont try to change me.Dont try to understand how my mind works( you will just hurt yourself)

2.Be willing to be around me,even if I say I dont need it.( might be when I need it the most)

3.Dont assume I am in transition and I am going to try to get a better job. I like my job.

4. Love my son first.Then love me.

5. Get along with my family.

6.Respect my need for privacy.

7.Understand that sometimes I am just complicated.

8.Tell me my glasses are sexy. ( i hate when people think I need to get contacts.)

Seven things that cross my mind alot.

(im gonna do this in song lyrics..IT makes sense to me this way)

1.*Are you a heartbreaker?Maybe you want me for the ride.Am I falling for a heartbreaker and everything is just a lie?I wont be leaving her alive..I might as well lay down and die.I wont be leaving her alive*

2.*no ones picking up the phone,guess its me and me.and this little masichist,shes ready to confess all these things,she never thought that she could feel*

3.*my feelings swell and stretch,I see a different light,I understand what I am still proud to mention to you,you say you understand,But you dont understand,you say youll never give up seeing eye to eye.But never is a promise,and you cant afford to lie*

4.*in the night,I could be helpless,I could be lonely, sleeping without you,and in the day everythings complex,there’s nothing simple now that i found you.But I miss you when your gone,that is what i do*

5.*now floating up and down,I spin colliding into sound,like waves beneath me tiding down,I am sinking to the bottom of my,everything that freaks me out,The lighthouse beam has just gone out,Im cold as cold as clod can be..be*

6.*Why do you love me? Its driving me crazy.You are not some little boy,why you acting so suprised,you are sick of all the rules. Well I am sick of all the lies.I cant swallow back any more of this shit. I think im gonna choke.Im standing in your shadow with the words stuck in my throat,does it really come as a suprise that I dont forget,nothing ever comes from nothing..Oh man aint that the truth*

7.*Oh jesus,christ almighty.Do I feel alright,No not slightly*

Six things you do before you sleep.

1.Text whomever is on my mind.

2. Masterbate(not kidding)

3.Write in my journal.Or read.

4.Sometimes I call someone and talk to them if my mind is wierd.

5.Watch which ever movie I like the most.(Its super troopers currently)

6.Rub my feet together a certain number of times.

FIve people who mean alot to you(I am putting people besides my kitty and family..cz they are given)

1.Chris

2.Caleb.

3.Julie

4.Joshy

5.Alisha(co worker)

Four things I am wearing right now.

1.my blue scrubs.

2.Holiday Inn badge.

3.A golden all star pin.

4.Purple and silver knee socks.

Three songs that I listen to often

<p style="text-align: center;”>1.Say it aint so

2.Lips of an angel

3.Fidelity

(cz they are ring tones on my phone)

Two things I wanna do before I die.

Make sure my son is gonna be well taken care of.

Nothing else..I live my life the way I want it to be.

One confession: Sometimes I tell people I am fine..even if I am not,Cz I am tired of saying Im not.