So there’s this guy…

I’m normally not all that into guys. Not in the whole girly freak-out sort of way. It annoys me that the majority of highschool females spend their entire time in highschool drooling over guys, being in relationships 24/7 even if it means jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend within days. I, myself, am not like that. And am proud of it. Sort of.

If you count being under the age of 9, in total I have had 2 boyfriends. Not at all serious in any way shape or form. Although technically, I am still married to the guy I "went out with" in like grade four. haha. That was fun. Now it’s just funny. Ah yes. And then there was the guy between grades 8 and 9. That lasted about 2 months, maybe. We hadn’t even started technically "dating" until after he moved out of town. He visisted once, at which time I saw him for a half an hour. Then later he called to tell me he was breaking up with me. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never kissed/been kissed by anyone. Hell, I don’t even know the definition of first base, second base, third base, or however many bases there are. (I’m not so good with the baseball analogies, if that’s what we’re getting at here.)

Anyway, back to my point. I like this guy, who I used to think was a complete idiot and the weirdest guy in school. He just happened to be in one of my classes last year, the one that only had about 15 people in it, and wasn’t conducted in any sort of professional manner, which left us to roam around the classroom, doing nothing more exciting than sticking our heads out the window. Every project we did in that class was a group project. So I ended up being put in groups with this guy a lot because I had no friends, and he and his side-kick always needed a third person in their group. So it was Shy Appearances to the rescue every time. Which I must admit I hated at first. Thinking Oh my God, how do I always manage to get stuck with the losers? After about a month at the most, I learned to accept the fact, and sucked it up. When we had to exchange email addresses to be able to contact each other for some project, I ended up spending every second of my time online talking to this guy on MSN. It was so weird. He turned out to be a completely different person than I had thought. It definately intrigued me. He was (and still is) so easy to talk to, it felt almost as if I had known him forever. Now, I’m really not the shallow type, I try to bring out the best in everyone, but I must admit, to the naked eye this guy isn’t the most attractive person in the world. But once I had known him for a few months that fact didn’t matter to me at all. It kinda felt like I was falling in love. To this day, I’m still not sure exactly what the feeling is, but it’s the most complicated feeling in the world. If only I had the confidence and courage to speak up and say something to him.

By about June or somewhere around there, this guy and I were pretty much good friends. He seemed to tell me a lot, and I told him almost everything. The only thing wrong with that was what he was telling me. That he loved some other girl. That he wanted to ask her out, but he was afraid she would say no. That he asked her out and she said she would think about it. That she thought about it and decided no. That a few weeks later she changed her mind. That…they’re dating now? And where does this leave me? This guy doesn’t talk to me anywhere near as much as he used to. Every time I have a conversation with him it’s guaranteed that he will bring up some other girl. And I feel so stupid, just sitting there, wishing he was talking to some other girl about me the way he talks about her.