A Suicide Note: Free Verse (not an actual suicide)

No people, im not going to kill myself…although I was thinking about suicide a lot today in the shower…

i dunno why ive been feeling like this lately…oh shut up, i guess i know why….this whole smiley thing has been bugging me so much…

it got me thinking about a lot of things and about where my life has been going….well nowhere…im at a standstill

so, i came up with this poem because the whole suicide thing kinda inspired me into writing it, in the form of a suicide note

This is a note to everyone who wonders
why I did what I did
why what happened has happened

do not blame yourselves
for it is not your fault
they are my problems to deal with
and this was my solution

The world is full of wonder
theres beauty and mystery
whats beyond it
I’m not sure
the mystery of death…
a great one, I’m sure

So what drove me to the brink?
what has driven me mad?
Why do I think such things
I’ll list the reasons why…

I’m tired of this world
I’m tired of the mystery
I’m tired of its kindness
and I’m sick of its cruelty

I’m tired of people
and everything they say
I’m tired of the gossip
and everything gray

I’m tired of your fake compliments
I’m tired of your fake face
I’m sick of the pain
and all of today, and everyday

I’m tired of trying
with no results
I’m tired of giving
with nothing in return

I’m tired of helping
I’m tired of being helped
I’m tired of pity
and I’m sick of the despair

I’m tired of the anxiety
and sick of medication
the neurosis and paranoia
certainly aren’t helping

I’m tired of making friends
and sick of losing friends
I’m tired of doing nothing
and I’m sick of doing everything

I’m tired of losing friends to their girlfriends
I’m tired of losing them to their boyfriends
I’m tired of losing friends to religion
I’m tired of losing friends to their faith

I’m sick of thinking about death
and I’m tired of thinking about life
I’m sick of not knowing
what comes after this knife

I’m sick of being alone
I’m sick of being left alone
I’m sick of seeing people alone

I’m tired of my friends
I’m tired of the people
I’m tired of everyone
I’m sick of being human

So this is why I have decided
what has already been decided

I’m done, and it has been done

I know you will miss me, for do not pity myself
I know you will think of me even after I have been long gone
I know this will affect you, whether you want to or not

But please, be certain this is not your fault
My choice has been made, and I do not regret it

And with those words, I bid you farewell
Good bye my friends
Good bye my family
Good bye,

                    Hugo A. Rodriguez, Shugo