The Chosen Baby
● TRIGGER WARNING CONTENT ●
This begins the journey into my adoption and how being adopted has had an impact on my life. With that being addressed; this Chapter contains open-ended conversations, opinions, and may be offensive. I will not tolerate abusive comments. While this is a confessional; its a safe space for all. Period.
Adoption.
That word holds so much power. I am adopted. Whenever I say it I feel as though I’m revealing a dirty secret. At least that’s how I feel like I was raised to view adoption.
Before I get into my adoption; I’m going to share this as a preface.
I am pro-choice.
I believe that a woman should be able to choose what is best for her, her current situation, and her situations that she has envisioned for her future. Whether it is her health, her well-being, her life. I do not need an explanation because it is not my life to life. I support abortion; but don’t debate it. Nor will I here. I support adoption, but feel that it majorly needs an overhaul.
But I also believe that abortion, adoption, or choosing to raise a child should be a decision that is shared with those who are involved with your life and plan to be in the future. Examples:
- You are with a stable partner. Discuss your options. Lay everything on the table and don’t be afraid of the conversation. Neither choice is easy.
- You have a supportive family without a partner. Listen to their options, offerings, and take their help IF you are wanting to parent.
Again-you get the point. I feel like NO WOMAN SHOULD HAVE TO MAKE THIS DECISION ALONE. I also believe that NO two pregnancies are the same; again with/without a partner, family, etc.
Adoption is and can be beautiful. My brother (biological) will argue that it is for the best and that out of the two of us; I got the better end of the deal. Myself; I might argue that. But again we lived two different lives and don’t get to say who is right. Do I feel that adoption laws need changed, need updated, etc. etc. YES. That is without a doubt.
Because its late, and I’m tired, and I feel somewhat distracted my adoption shall continue tmrw…
We are beginning this process ourselves, and I’m trying to be cognizant of the trauma an adopted child would experience and what I would need to do as a parent to help with that. I admire you for putting fingers to keyboard and recording your thoughts. I’m sure it’s not easy.
@kingofi Thank you! I plan to develop my adoption writings more in the upcoming days/weeks. And I hope you’ll continue to read; I have a beautiful but also traumatic adoption. No two adoptees will ever share the same experiences; but as a collective from others I have talked with we share similar emotions. I appreciate you as the parent recognizing the trauma and needs an adopted child has. Unfortunately my parents did not-I feel they could benefit from therapy to cope and navigate adoption and I am 41.
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