Why I should’ve never went to college

Lesson: College is both the worst and best thing that ever happened to me, to date.
 
Since I’m in a mood, I’ll start with the worst points and explain the confusion and frustration I’m experiencing right now.
 
I should’ve never (and I say that loosely) worked towards a BA in Speech Communications and minor in Journalism. Though I loved my classes, school, professors, assignments and subject areas, it has proved to be nothing but a pointless accomplishment, to date.
 
If I could do it all again, and I would strongly recommend to others, I would pick a skill, a trait, a JOB, a CAREER and specifically pursue THAT booming field. Such as: nursing, dentistry, teaching, cosmetology, engineering, law, medicine, physical therapy, PLUMING, HEATING AND AIR CONDITIONING FOR PETES SAKE–anything! I would have chosen a work field that sparked the least bit of interest in my native-self and continued on that career path. Had I of done so, maybe I wouldn’t be where I am today. College isn’t so necessary anymore, just a technical school or a 2 year degree for a specific career is the way to go. I will admit, I didn’t come up with this genius idea myself. I actually heard Susie Orman say it on TV once. Smart woman.
 
I would have never earned a degree in such a broad area where people ask, "Sooo what are you going to do when you graduate?" and I would have answered "Oh I dunno… get a job in PR/newspaper/radio/some-type-of-imaginary-job-that-I-don’t-even-know-what-I’m-talking-about, ya know!" What a great way of forward thinking and planning.
 
Today, I find myself with approximately $29,600 indebtness from 3 separate student loans. And that number actually went up $8,602.14 after getting a SURPRISE bill in the mail for a loan I took out on 2005. Who knew? I did my exit counseling, I completed all the paperwork and quizzes you must complete upon graduation to show you "understand" the terms and conditions of repayment, but this one was a total SURPRISE, believe it or not. Now we must consolidate, of course. But no, it’s not that easy — federal vs. private vs. unsub vs. sub, it’s like a different language I must now learn.
 
Now I find myself sitting behind a big desk in the Administrative Executive office of a privately owned hospital with a badge clipped to my collar shirt with my name, photo and title: "EXECUTIVE RECEPTIONIST." My background did not get me here, my qualifications did not get me here, I guess just so happened to be the best smuck for the job. I’m a sucker. I rarely use my brain or skills for this job. In fact, I just completed the biggest assignment I’ve had here— a PowerPoint presentation of 25 slides for the Chamber of Commerce Annual Awards Banquet which highlighted Morgantown, WV’s small, medium and large business and entrepreneur of the year. Do I work for the Chamber, NO. The Cheif Operating Officer of my hospital is chairman and that is how I got this irrelivant assignment. None the less, I spent 2 practicaly 3 whole work days, as in 8am-4:30pm working on it and finished it beautifuly. Later one of my supervisors said, "Oh good for you, I bet that used a lot of your journalism skills!" Uhhhh yea, that makes no sense at all, but whatever. They know my life here is pointless.
 
To get to my point, I make $12 at a job I could’ve gotten right out of high school and then I wouldn’t have a ton of debt. Yeah, yeah I know you’re thinking that having a degree will work in my favor eventually, but what about NOW? Roughly, I will make $19,200/yr. and I know that’s already less bc of the days off I’ve taken/going to take/taxes etc. Of my $29,600 student loan dept, I will probably rack up an extra $10,000 in interest alone. These numbers aren’t adding up for me. My monthly bill will be about $250 a month. And there’s no since of filing forbearance since I do have a job, just not a very high-paying college-graduate type job, that’s all. My deferment period is over next month. There’s nothing to do but pay the money and be poor, all the while looking for a better job and even if it isn’t better paying, I will take it if it’s in my field. No questions asked. And I will climb the coorporate lader or die trying.
 
For so long I think I had this irrealistic image of my future and while I knew I would come out with a ton of debt and likely to be poor, I still thought I would have this fabalous exciting job and truely be "better off." Now I’m a receptionist with nothing fabalous nor exciting in my future. The truth is I’m living in the wrong city and state. It’s a funny thing to realize because when I was interning last summer at Radio One, Inc in Washington, D.C. and for months prior my graduation everyone told me I had to move out of West Virginia if I wanted to do anything with my degree/life. They said there was nothing here for me and I fought it saying I will find a way. It’s sad to realize this because I love living in West Virginia. I have a great life here and think this is truly a great place to live and even to raisea family. But it is true, there is nothing here for me anymore.
 
Ironically, after my freshmen year of college, when it came time to pick a major I decided on physical therapy or exercise science. For years I was fascinated by the body and how it works, moves, heals, everything. My dad convinced me it was a bad idea, that I would never get a good job and when I did finally get a job I would be working my ass off for people who were grumpy because they were hurt or disabled and I would hate my life by that difficult job. I saw it as helping people, but he convinced me to explore other options. I listened. I knew what I wanted to do and I should’ve stuck with it instead of let someone change my mind. That was nearly 5 years ago. Now I’m stuck with no profession having weekly, sometimes daily, pity parties for myself.
 
Conversely, college was also the best thing that happened to me. My dad always said, if you want to make something of yourself, move away from home. It worked for him and while it may not be true for everyone, it worked for me too.
 
I was at a different place in my life back then. Stuck somewhere in between beliving I was grown up pretending to be something I was not and a wild child. I did things I wouldn’t imagine doing today. Am I proud of what I was back then? Absolutely not. But there’s some things you just can’t change. Leaving home for college completely changed me and made me a better person. It was an extremely difficult transition and I wanted to quit many times, but I stuck with it mostly because my dad made me, and he was right. It taught me to be independent, to take responsibility for my actions, it taught me how to be an adult. The outcome out weights the hardships and I’m thankful for the experience though there are several memories I wish could be earased, I’m still here.
 
I know this is just one of my many pitty parties and I write like this when I get down in the dumps about my job and my future. It is incredibly daunting to be a college graduate right now, but I do truly know that there is something waiting for me out there for me somewhere. I’m looking for it, but I just hope in the meantime I don’t have to be an "EXECUTIVE RECEPTIONIST" for too much longer. Bare with me.
 
 
I wrote this entry last week at work