Whatever Dude

Lesson: Don’t be a baby 

Mark pissed me off this evening.

I had a pretty okay day today.  I had a few things I wanted to share with Mark about my day when he got home and we started talking about my work day. 

I told him about the intern at work who’s my age and she was super nice when she started and we even ate lunch together which was nice because I eat alone every day.  Well after about a month she totally started getting all my nervous.  She talks about herself a lot and then never listens to me and always interrupts me when I talk, just to talk more about herself.  She ALWAYS tells me about how many friends she has and she has SOO many friends that she can’t even hang out with them all and when she goes out to the bar she spends her whole night jumping from friend to friend to say hello.  She was running for president of her MBA program and she was like, "oh if this is about popularity then I will definitely win" and she lost.  Definitely not a humble person, to say the least.  Am I jealous?  Um, yes maybe I can agree with that but I don’t think I know her well enough to actually be jealous of her.  But I will say that I definitely wish I had more friends.  I am just annoyed by her.  I think she does this to make her feel good about herself.

Well the first time she told me about how popular she is and about all the organizations she’s involved in on campus, and what her career goals are, I listened and said wow that’s great, or something like that, but now she’s told me a million time about what a great, popular, friendly, smart person she is and it fucking drives me crazy!  It’s so annoying having a one sided conversation about how cool she is.

So I was telling Mark about what she was saying today and how crazy it drives me and he said, "get over yourself!" And I was liiiike  Me???  And he said, yes you, quite hating on her, you have a problem with everyone you work with, get over it.  And I was left speechless.  I don’t know why people at work get all my nervous so much, as if I’m perfect or something…?  But it pissed me off he said that because I feel like if anyone were in my situation they would get annoyed too.  I really don’t think he was listening to me, all he heard was me complaining but I have no one else to complain too.  The difference is that when something bothers Mark, he will forget about it.  I don’t do that, I like to talk about it and then that annoys him.  It’s a vicious cycle.

And this brings me to what’s really bothering me…. sometimes, maybe most of the time, Mark just doesn’t care.  I had a second interview to work at a youth academy for troubled teens and when I came home and told him alllllll about it I had to ask him so many times "so what do you think" "do you think I should do it?" and it’s almost like he doesn’t want to tell me one way or another bc he doesn’t want to feel responsible for my decision.  When I ask him for help with my decision making he will say, do whatever you want babe or he’ll agree and say, if that’s what you think babe.  It bothers me.  If the situation were reversed I would be more involved.  I would help him lay out the pros and cons and come to a final, good decision.  And don’t get me wrong, he will do that with me sometimes.  But not enough.  Which brings me to another problem, I always expect more.

I want to write all about the second interview.  I will do it tomorrow. Good night