The fights of life

Lesson:  Don’t live your life an eye for an eye

I should really take my own advice.

My sister and I are feuding.  We haven’t spoken in nearly 2 months, give or take.  She stopped talking to me actually, and I let her.  We’ve had several in and outs in life, of course, like most sisters do.  We’ve not talked for months at length, it went well over a year at one point, I’m sure, but who’s counting?  Lately, as we’ve matured through life, we haven’t had one of these streaks at least 4 or 5 years.  She didn’t take my calls for 2 weeks once and when she finally did, I was pissed and was sure to express that to her.  We got over it though, at least I thought.

I’m not sure exactly what is the cause of this fight.  I really think it’s a number of things all mixed into one.  I also think her boyfriend is somewhat of a bad influence on the whole thing, too.  Which goes back to the root of the problem. 

Not to point the blame at any one of us, but I have to say that it is true that SHE is the reason we are not speaking.  I’ve tried to reach out to her many, many times and when my attempts were turned down, my feelings were hurt.  I cried many, many times throughout this whole thing.  And finally we just got to the point where now one won’t call the other. 

I’ve thought of her a lot though lately.  When I bought my 1st new car I really wanted her to be apart of it.  When I went to the Redskins vs. Cowboys game, I really wanted to tell her about it.  My job, my life, my day… everything.  We went from talking 2 and 3 times a day to silence for months.  It makes me sad… even though this whole thing is "her fault" by at least 85% at least.

But I don’t have many friends these days.  They all seemed to have come and gone as quick as the high we shared together and I’m lonely at times.  Mark has a life outside of me.  The other day instead of just coming home after work, he went to a friends for an hour or so and then came home.  I wouldn’t mind doing the same one day too, but there’s no one I can call in this town to spend time with. 

So today I decided to stop thinking about calling my sister and to actuall call her, see how she’s doing, see what she’s doing.  For some reason I didn’t think she was going to answer, but she did, though only for a second.  She was busy (of course it’s Friday night, who isn’t busy besides me?) and asked if everything was OK.  I said yes and thought it was funny she thought I was only calling bc it was an emergency.  Strange.  But she agreed to call me back tomorrow.  We’ll see, I suppose.

I think to soothe my sorrows of being friend-less in this town (and in life) I’ve been using shopping as my cure.  It’s getting out of control.  I need to stop it!  I spent $100 at Kohl’s today.  I went looking for cute work shoes and left with a sweater, tang top, thermal shirt, a purse, tights, and a shirt for Mark.  Phew.  I will admitt I had some buyers-remorse, but not THAT much and will keep everything.  I did put it on my credit card, but I will pay it in full at the end of the month, as always.  I guess I have to find some way to cope and shopping is it!