When you Wake Completely Different

 I thought I would start over. 
But today I wake and wonder what I was even thinking. 
I feel such a sense of defeat. 

I had a promising dream ..
But I realize they don’t mean what they used to. 
Hours carry messages that don’t equate.. or relate..to my current life. 
Yesterday I had such a strong hold on things. 
Its funny how overnight, things can change so fast. 
And maybe tonight things will change again. 
But I’m not searching for those things any more. 

Gotta stay focused on me. 

I’ve been alone in the simplest terms for so long now..it seems. 
I feel its all I can rely on any more. 
And it seems like all I want now. 

Optimism comes and goes. 
And now I remember what got me here in the first place. 
And right before me as if the sun had never lead trees to cast shadows..
I can see every dark corner to which I’d turn to replace this feeling. .
I can see the face to which it belongs. 

Lately I had been thinking thoughts that should be far from me. 

I guess today can be different. I’m just tired of trying