West Coast Wanderer

Cross country footsteps. 
Miles and days and leagues away. 
The kind of strong will and adventure I could never have. 
But have always dreamt of. 

A compliment turned into a deep, distant connection.
But my head is anywhere but tied up in it. 
I envy him for his strength. 
Being able to take off and face the world alone. 
I’ve always had this thing for people so fleeting. 
So free. 
Wandering but full of soul. 
Jack Kerouac kinda thing. 

But where before this would have been pursuit..
I just feel a sense of calm and enjoyment. 
This heart drenching notion that things will fall in line.. and all I need to worry about is myself. 
And for the first time..I thoroughly enjoy just me. 

A part of my soul has always wanted to see the things he sees. 
But I’ve never had the strength to leave. 
The courage to walk the roads alone…
Its been half a year now since he left. 
And I don’t think he’s coming back. 
Though he reached out to me…
Out in the middle of all this self focused mindset and a few confusing feelings. 

Though most of my days are bright..
He makes the warmth reach through in a way it doesn’t on these newly cold and nostalgic days. 
I hope some day he comes home. 
But…I won’t count on it. 
And I’ll watch his footsteps at a distance…
And we can be a world apart but in company.