I’m back..with dreams.

You know….

I miss this place all the time.

Maybe for the things I gained during that small space of time that I called it home.

But nothing has ever been the same.

It’s about time I shelled out $4 a month for a space that has always been a home to me. I feel content and happy to finally and officially be back.

 

In other news. Let’s talk about dreams.

 

Mine have been maddening.

Have you ever dreamt of the same set of places over and over?

Themes have been on repeat for about a year now.

Like an alternate reality, I’m to the point of recognizing directions and key places.

Theres always a similar theme.

I’ve always been so attached to my dreams, now I’m convinced that my soul is living in another space with other souls.

At this point, I can explain directions. Key details. They repeat. There are specific places I visit over and over. And of course….specific souls.

I say souls..because they dont always share the same face, but I always know who they are. Often, they appear as their true selves..but not always. Not when things are hard.

I have a home away from home there. There is a house in a field, too close to a road…and I hate it..but it’s mine. I have another home there that I love. All the time I spend in the home I love, I am worrying about bills piling up in the home I hate. Often times I find myself forgetting I own this second home, and I am trying to navigate there. This home lies out on 62 somewhere past my hometown. Maybe this is because that is the route I took to go to college in my early 20s. A time when I felt most connected to my art and dreams.

 

There is an area like where I lived with my first apartment. Bar life and and young scene.

 

There is area like a marina, where you shuffle boats onto the water. Though I have never been.

 

And then there is a place I can only venture to on foot. This place is past many horse farm . Out in the middle of true nowhere. It is freshwater rivers and falls in the middle of the prettiest, quietest woods. I find myself searching for this place often. Stopping by the horse farms to smell the open breeze, and then hunting down the paths to the quiet rivers.

 

Recently. I dreamt of a reunion at home. This reunion meant change. A person I hold dear was there. I hugged him goodbye, but neither of us parted..and we both shook with fear.

 

That dream stuck when I woke. I think I know what it meant but I wish I didnt.