Early Morning Rain

It’s early hours

We kissed in the cold rain before he left.

I kept searching for impatience, but he embraced it as much as I.

I haven’t felt that in quite some time.

Haven’t gone back to bed. He always leaves me with a thousand puzzles to work through. Mostly knots my brain creates trying to distract me from the truth.

The sound of rain dancing through my bedroom window is cementing that moment in my brain. The smell, the cold, the taste of early morning goodbye.

I could have stood out there longer. Each cold drop surprising my warm skin. His hands on the small of my back, up my back, in my hair, around my face.

Goodness he is so gentle. The most thoughtful touch I’ve ever known. There’s a buzzing energy that feels like electric when we touch. I swallow hard to keep down the butterflies. His breath, my breath, one, without effort.

Have to remind myself to take each new day. To accept the feelings when they come, and bid farewell when or if they go.  That it’s okay to not know.

But this feels like something I’ve known.

And that makes it worse.

He could be home. It feels like it when he’s around. That simple sense of calm. The first easy breath in a day. He’s warm, and safe.

There is a tingling, rising feeling in my chest that tastes like hope and intuition. My throat clenches as my brain steps in to be reason. Fear driving even the smallest of thoughts.

Again. I have to remind myself to just greet each day separately.

Tomorrow me may be different, but tonight me is a bit smitten.