Beautiful Grey

 Grey perfect day. 
Stay inside under warm blankets. 
Hot coffee. 
Music in mind. 

Thoughts have been everywhere lately. 
And that’s okay. 
Everything is fine. 
October gets better by the day. 
Each hour taken slowly and I’m always a moment or two late. 
And that’s okay. 
Things fall in line when they must. 
Strolling through just feels right, right now. 

The weather will soon be too cold. 
I’ve not had a fire this season. 
I miss simple nights with familiar faces..
Comforting company. 
Long talks until dawn about the universe. 
Things that speak to ones soul. 
Those slurred words that come out sounding inspiring. 
And then the sun rises and all seems brighter than normal. 
For a time. 

There are spaces in time where I see things like paintings. 
Just memories that somehow made impact enough to last. 
Even through a drunken mind. 
I realize times of making those memories are gone. 
I’ve grown too much. 
That part of my youth is fading more and more. 
Reckless nights of alcohol and racing hearts..
Up until after dawn and sometimes more. 
Drinking until there’s nothing left but sex and sleep and sweat. 
Waking up well after noon..dehydrated and spinning. 
And nowhere to be but lying and letting it wear off. 

I thought I would miss it when the day came. 
But the feeling of being on top of my game with bright eyes is something different. 
Something I needed. 
Responsibility sucks sometimes..
But with each step I find a new light..
A few new shadows…
But its all in balance. 
Its what we need to keep us feeling human. 

Everything is okay.