10/04/2013

 Every loose string that blows in the wind..
dancing, unrestful, yellow and blue 
Little lines of hope, 
I chase, 
I follow, and tug,
With an empty feeling beat under my feet, 
Deep in my heart I know these lines lead nowhere. 
I just wanted to believe…
and the journey was good enough for me. 

Every room spent in my own company, 
Becomes alive with walls that echo my thoughts. 
The paint flakes and reveals the memories. 
Hands stumble upon strings but words can’t escape, 
My eyes betray me, 
ignoring the strength I wish to portray. 

I can spin my mind in riddles, 
In books and any drink with anyone else. 
I don’t feel alone, 
Just lacking. 
Just longing. 
And it ticks like a clock in a room filled with no one. 

All the things I ever was seem far from me now. 
My only weakness is him. 
Just the longing to have that back. 
I don’t drown anything in drinks. 
I don’t need company. 
I go out bright eyed and sober..
A confidence I didn’t have before. 
So where is it I have made the mistake? 
I’ve done nothing but improve myself and drive myself further. 
The old me would have chased and fought and ended looking pathetic. 
So if now I’m doing things right. 
Why does everything seem to be going wrong?

All those notes I keep in my head….
Tonight I’ll light a fire. 
Warm my hands and soothe my heart…
I have to catch flame to these strings.