Jason

Ok in my last entry I  mentioned Jason…

I met Jason at church camp during high school and we really didnt talk much that week but I had the hugest crush on him.. I remember tellin him bye the day we all went home and I remember thinking he was so cute.. That was June… In December of that year, I got a message from him sayin that he saw my picture in the newpaper and had been thinking alot about me.. We started talking and after a few weeks we started dating.. We were together about a month when he just disappeared.. He stopped returning calls and texts and it was like he just disappeared off the face of the earth.. He came back in May saying that he was sorry he had not been the kind of friend and person I needed and to give him another chance.. We started talking again and the day I left for my senior trip, he texted me and told me that he had just found out that he had gotten this girl pregnant.. I told him i supported him in whatever he decided.. He decided to be with her… However, the next day He called me and told me that he found out she cheated on him and that the baby wasnt his.. We started talkin again and the next few weeks were great.. And then, it fell apart. He promised to come to my high school graduation and he never showed.. When I asked him about it, he told me he thought it was the next day.. I went to the lake the next day and talked to him the whole time.. We talked into late that night.. I thought things were actually going to work this time.. But, when I hung up the phone I didnt hear from him again til October… He popped back up in October and we did our whole cycle again.. Then he popped back up in Feburary or March but we never got back together.. I knew better.. We tried to be friends but there was just a tension there… He randomly texted me on my birthday that year and then I didnt from him again til Labor Day of last year.. He had just got out of a relationship and he wanted me to come over and talk to him.. I was out of town at the time or I would have… We texted a little bit the next few days… But I feel like I messed this one up, I had met this guy at a softball game and we were talking and Jason kept texting me wanting me to come over.. I kept ignoring him but he just kept textin.. I finally told him I was talking to someone and I wasn’t going to mess that up because of him.. However, a few days later that guy decided he wanted to be with this girl he has known longer and liked better… I texted Jason after that but was given the cold shoulder.. October 22nd, my best friend died in a car wreck and I texted him and told him that I was glad he was back in my life and that i was glad we were still friends… He texted me back and told me that he wasnt in my life anymore.. I asked him why and he told me to just quit texting him.. I havent heard from him or talked to him since that day.. I wonder sometimes what happened… I never did anything to him, we never fought. I just dont know..

My friend Wes, who used to be his best friend, told me that he has always done this cycle and he never stays around for long..

I still love the boy and I pray that he finds true happiness one day…

I still have unanswered questions I would love to ask him but I guess it’s better off not knowing..