Doctors Appt

well tomorrow I go back to the doctor for my 3 month check up and I am supposed to update him about the depression…

Well here is the update.. The meds dont work, I dont sleep at night, Im still losin weight, I feel worse off now then i did before, my eating disorder is hurting me so bad, i have no patience and a very short temper. I dont cry as much but I still hurt.

Im scared to see what i weigh because he has threatened to put me in the hospital before because i stay around 30 pounds underweight and I never gain weight.. I try to gain weight but it never stays..

My 12 year old sister weighs more than I do..

My life is complicated right now and Im scared to be a burden to people and part of me is scared to love again because I dont want someone else to put up with all this and Im scared to let my guard down because the pain shatters me everytime..

That is my update.