Storming again..

This time the storm didn’t hit me, but I feel it just the same. My sister texted me last night, drunk. Then taking an ambien. We don’t talk much, especially when she has a boyfriend. I don’t know much about what’s going on in her life. I assumed her boyfriend was handling her shit. he was a nice guy, seemed patient. I believed maybe she was getting better, not driving everyone so crazy.

Well she just picked up her things, and headed to Philly on her own. They had a trip planned, he canceled. He can’t deal with her anymore. Anyone who is with my sister for long enough understands that as awful as she can be, as hurtful and heartless as she can seem, you still can’t help but feel bad for her in the end. It’s as if she doesn’t know what she is doing. She doesn’t see. Something comes over her and she is six years old again, throwing a tantrum.

I told her she can come here if she wants to, but my mother will be back on Saturday. I don’t think they have talked in months. I don’t think if either of them even mind that. Funny how we seem to go through these types of things around the same time. But I think I’m going to be able to piece back together what I had with Chris. It may always be a little wobbly, but it will be together nonetheless. We are just going to have to be a little more careful, hold on a little bit tighter so we don’t eventually shatter.

But it sounds like he tried to hang on. She just pushes until you can’t anymore. She said she thinks she has borderline personality disorder. I remember thinking that at one point, but then when I read more about it, the symptoms didn’t exactly match up.

Chris is in NJ again. I’m trying to stay positive. Trying to keep it all together, myself.