A wheel still turning

So glad OD is working again. I’m happy the proseboxers found themselves a home, but I just didn’t feel like that was the place for me.

Chris was home for about 20 minutes, between work and school. I made him lunch because I knew it would be a long day and if I don’t do that, he will end up with a burger and fries. I also know he loves it when I wear makeup, which I don’t usually do. I never wore anything before around 25 or 26, and even then it was very rare. I always felt that someone should be attracted to me without it. With just my natural, boring face. I also had no idea what to do with all that. Crayons and pencils.. shadows.. I was always way too much of an outside of the lines girl.

I also don’t ever wear perfume or anything heavily scented. I have allergies to almost everything, and I just don’t appreciated perfumey things. But I found a scent that comes close to pleasing for me, one that may not give me a headache, called Euphoria by Calvin Klein. Actually, my favorite is one my sister loves too but it’s extremely expensive, and also, I’ve been done following in her crazy footsteps for a long time. I found Euphoria in a magazine, and actually rubbed it all over my sweater and neck. I don’t think I have ever done that before. When I was in high school I’d spray Cool Water on me when I went to Walmart. Yes, it’s for men. But I liked it, and wanted nothing to do with anything feminine.

Fast forward a couple of decades, and it’s slowly coming together bits and pieces at a time. As much as Chris likes me fine without makeup, without smelling like anything other than my cheap St Ives body wash and suave shampoo, it’s nice to see him get excited when I goop on the black eyeliner and coat my lashes over and over and over. A little bronzer on my pale face, and a loose V-neck shirt, and I really wondered if he was going to be able to leave for school on time.

I prefer it this way, rather than friends who make themselves all fancy every single day. So then when they want to have a lazy day, they get asked, "What happened to you"?? I know there will be a day when the circles under my eyes will be darker, my color a little paler and blotchier, and I may need a little bit of help on a daily basis. But for now, it’s a once in a while thing and I enjoy the reaction I get. It helps make the day less painful when I nearly failed my two exams today for Anatomy and Physiology. I should have done better, but studying got boring.

New beer in the fridge, and my favorite new show, Divorce Court. Feeding my lazy brain.