RSVP- Can’t attend. Have to work.- Cinderella

So today when I got home from work, I discovered in my mailbox my first ever invitation to a charity fundraiser dinner. It is called “Discovery to Cure Gala” Let’s go over this invite carefully, shall we. It is black tie optional. I own 1 dress that is semi dressy…more dressy casual I would say. There will be performances by students of the Yale school of music and The What Up Funk Band. Need I say any more about that.

There will be a silent auction (Of course, what’s a charity ball without that.) They will have a Souvenier Journal. This gives me an opportunity to place a program message all for a small token. Let’s see, for the inside front or back cover a mere $1,500. I think. Another part of the invitation says that a front or back inside cover is 2,500. That is a BIG difference. (But do not fear, not only can I leave my message but I can add to it a logo and business information. So I guess it would be cheap advertising if I had something to advertise.) For those of us with a little less to spend i e. me and everyone else I know. You can purchase a full page for just $1000, and for those of the under privileged masses there is hope for you too, a half page going for the rock bottom price of $500, Can’t beat that!

Moving along then. On to seating. Nothing but the best for me. Now to get a top of the line table, the gold one, It is only $10,000. That includes a tax deductible portion of $9,200. (I pay about 2,000 a year in taxes…get about 1,000 back) Also I get listed as a gold sponsor for the event in the souvenir journal and on a yale web page, and a free page in the souvenir journal. WOOHOO. For the silver table $5,000. Tax deductible $4,200. Same as above only you only get 1/2 page in the journal, and you only listed as a silver sponsor.Next we have the bronze table. This beauty only costs $2,500. $1,700 of that being tax deductible. Same as above only you are listed as a bronze sponsor and you only get a quarter of a page. Next to last a single ticket. For those, like me who are just too downtrodden to afford a table (Not only that but I don’t think I have enough friends to fill a table. Unless, of course, it was a very small 1.) I can buy a single ticket for just $250. So we come to the least, I/we can not attend (please insert the words afford to between the not and attend) but enclose a contribution of $_________ for a listing in the souvenir journal. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that all these things come with dinner, though I can’t tell you what they are serving because they don’t say. For $10,000 it better be damn good with all the alcohol I can drink and shove in my purse

So there we have it. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against charity dinners, for those who can afford it. However, in my case I need to throw a charity dinner to raise my rent money. Not to mention anything of the $20,000 my surgery cost. I did however throw in a few extra vials of blood for their current study towards early detection. Luckily I have a decent job with fairly good benefits. $20,000 is a lot of money to me. That is almost a years salary. So what will I do? I guess I’ll RSVP- Sorry, I can’t attend the Gala. I have left for work.

Sincerly,
Cinderella