Christ’s Baby’s Mama

I decided to divulge a little history. Maybe if I write more about how my life was I can draw in new readers *Wiggles eyebrows* So I guess I’ll start way back. My mom grew up In New Haven, Connecticut and my dad grew up in Bridgeport, Connecticut. My dad joined the Marines when he was 17 or so. He dropped out and joined up. He ended up being sent to San Fransisco. My mom’s younger sister and she moved out to San Fransisco. There my parents met in their church and fell in love. They stayed out there for a few years and my brother and I were born there. When I was 2 and my brother was 4 they decided to move back as at that time they were living in a tent and most of there family was here. Family is good thing to have for support with 2 young kids. We had our problems as all familys do but mostly we were fairly happy I would say. Which brings us to the end and a new beginning.

So when I was 16 my parents had a falling out, over religion no less. What a stupid thing to destroy 20 years of marriage over. None the less this falling out led to the split. I choose to go with my mom because I felt she needed me more. I thought that my dad was stronger. So I left all my friends, my things, and the town I had lived in for 7 years. Packed a few clothes and went with my mom. My dad later told me that I had betrayed him. I betrayed him? What about them betraying us? We didn’t take vows promising to be together forever. But I digress.

I did not react to this new found freedom very well. Without anyway to control me I went a little crazy for a long while. Between 16 and 19, it all kind of blurs together. There was a lot of sex drugs alcohol. I tried to kill myself at 17 and was locked up for awhile. That didn’t help. When I got out I just partied harder. I cut class everyday stayed out until all hours. I got thrown out of high school. My mom was doing no better than I. It was like my dad was the glue that held her sanity together and without that she was this empty broken thing. She got REALLY religious. Church Lady meets Party Girl. It was doomed to fail.

How bad could it have been, you ask yourself. Well as a little point of reference, I was getting ready to go out one day and my mom told me that Christ who is “married” to the church, (this is a direct quote people) “came to me and consummated the marriage.” So in the face of this very obvious evidence of her split from reality I did what any party girl would so. I gave her the pregnancy test I had in my room and went and got fucked up for a couple of days. Upon my return my mom called me into her room to speak with me. She asked me where I had been and I told her that honestly she had freaked me out when she told me that she was pregnant with Christ’s baby. She then proceeded to tell me that she wasn’t really pregnant it was just the evil spirts that were attracted to my necklace that made her think she was. I just let that one slide.

At 18 I had my first arrest for possession of marijuana and a pipe. I got off on community service. I started cutting myself that year. My mom kicked me out for the 1st and 2nd time. I also had my second arrest for trespassing as a few friends and I were running around on the rooftop of Yorkside Pizza. They heard us running around inside after they had closed and the police came and took us all away. We all got kicked out of the house we were living in, but that didn’t stop us. The 5 of us moved from the house into the 2 car garage in the back yard. That lasted a couple of weeks before the cops came and made us leave.

During that time my mom had been begging me to come back and live with her. She kept saying I can’t believe you would rather live in a garage with no bathroom or running water than with me. I told her I needed to be free to come and go as I pleased and I couldn’t have that with her. She promised that I could but I resisted. At least until the police kicked me out. Then I caved like a bitch and back to mom’s house I went. I stopped everything for awhile then. (I did this because before that I had gotten totally out of control. I was drinking a big plastic bottle of majorska every night and would fly into rages where I broke everything in my room.) After awhile I got myself under control so back to the life of fun I went. I was working and under control during the week then on the weekends I would go to the club drink until I puked and come home at like 3:30 in the morning. This arriving at 3 or 4 AM did not sit well with my mom. She yelled at me one night and I told her she said I would be free to come and go and she said “well I lied.” So I saved up some money and I moved out again.

This time I moved in with a couple of friends who were a couple. It wasn’t too bad except they refused to take the 1 bedroom so they were naked in the living room all the time. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I walked in on them as the apartment was just a kitchen, my bedroom, the livingroom, and a bathroom. The livingroom lay between my bedroom and the bathroom. There was just no avoiding it.

TO BE CONTINUED