All Right You’ve Fooled Around Long Enough.

Well I have been putting off writing a real entry with my cut and paste tactics for long enough. I am having the most disgusting IM session ever! I would post it here but am afraid I would be forever banned. LOL. I am talking to Bobbeaux and Megan. I got distracted during the writing of this to play the virtual drums. heehee. Sure those I find fascinating but Lucas’s real set I steadfastly refuse to touch. Probably because he wants me to so much and I like to be stubborn.

We are a very weird mix of emotions together. Something strange about living somewhere and hanging out with someone you used to be intimate with. We are comfortable and we not afraid to hug or pat. We don’t hold back our anger or avoid saying something for fear of hurting the other person. We still love to laugh together and rip on each other. I don’t care if he sees me when I look like shit because I don’t have to impress him. This morning I made us breakfast and yesterday he did. It is kind of cool.

Sometimes he gets mad that I don’t look at him anymore. That I don’t try to touch. Mind you he doesn’t want me touching just wants me to always be striving for that. We talked about it a couple of weeks ago and I told him that I love him. That I have always loved him. However, he is not for me, and I can’t wait for him forever.

I was talking to a favorite about all the fun we used to have. I told her how we used to play full contact drunken death. A game of our own devising which involved chasing each other around and tackling each other. Then laying on the grass laughing and laughing. I told her about the nights with the pellet gun and the cashing each other with squirt guns until we were both thoroughly soaked.

I didn’t tell her about all the nights we spent just laying in bed talking about everything and nothing. I didn’t talk about us laying on rooftops watching for space ships. I didn’t mention the time we watched the eclipse or the meteor shower. I didn’t tell her about how we like to watch lightning storms or drive around in the car with the Music turned all the way up. I am singing and Lucas is beating out the beats with a drumstick in one hand while he drives with the other

After my conversation with her I felt that I had to ask Lucas what exactly it was that had happened to us. Not relationship wise. That bit is not difficult. He is gay and I have no penis. It was the fun part that I was referring to. Not that we don’t have fun now, just a much more controlled fun, less wild. Maybe less free? So I asked him and he said “We ran out of life juices.” So we laughed and laughed.