Disappear

Fixed what was broken?

I didn’t want to fix them.

They were just a toy,

Someone who didn’t want to love me,

And that I didn’t love.

No worry of feelings,

Only a time of passion.

I only wanted to use them,

But destiny shows that it has not let me go just yet.

For where I fail to pick up my own pieces,

I helped her to gather some of her own.

That’s all I seem good at,

Helping others,

And not myself.

There is an addage,

That by helping others

You help yourself.

I have yet to feel the truth to this,

I’m only more hollow than ever before it seems.

They did not even want me,

But a character I created.

Perhaps that’s the answer,

I should leave the pieces where they are.

Let go of me,

And seek refuge forever in the creations of my mind.

—

Cold.

Even as I was writing,

The chill washed over me.

I don’t know anymore,

What good is it to keep fighting a losing battle?

The toy,

They want to be mine.

They don’t care that I don’t care,

That I’d only use them.

They don’t want to know about my past,

They don’t ask me to dredge it up.

They don’t care,

I’m so confused.

—

I’m watching everyone else grow distant,

Drifting away,

And I think I should try to hold on.

Reach out for them,

But then I can’t find the reasons.

Find the feelings that should be there,

Someone help me I’m falling apart.

Can’t anyone hear me?

I’m disappearing.