Change

I have changed,

I am not even the same as the day I started this.

Some would say that change is normal,

Change is for the good.

I thought so too,

Or perhaps I just did not care.

Did not wish to see,

Keeping my eyes shaded to hide the truth.

Not watching the pain that I caused,

Not caring about the ones I used,

The hearts I broke.

Then she came back,

Forced me to see.

I hate myself,

Hate who I’ve become.

Trying to change again,

To make it right.

I want to be different,

But why?

What good will it do?

It will not win me anything,

Anything but hate.

Even if I try,

Is there to be anything worth this trial?

It’s so hard,

I’m trying,

But I don’t know why.